I’m all for derogatory sports slogans, but “Beat LA” doesn’t cut it. That’s the NBA and media-safe version of “Lakers Suck, Kobe Swallows and Sperm Swaps GasSHolE who then Snowballs Odom.”
As a Boston Celtics fan, I’m calling on all my fellow asshole sports fans to boycott “Beat LA” in favor of something more offensive. Unlike LA, who had a three-peat with Shaq earlier this decade, this is our first trip to the finals in two decades. Or, fuck these fake-ass LA fans who go to games in sunglasses to stare at the “famous.” Entourage sucks.
As the old punk album states, This is Boston Not LA. In Boston people are cynical assholes. Life sucks. We shiver through winter and sweat through summer. We have two things going for us: sports and the Kennedys (and now Teddy’s on his deathbed). We don’t wear purple, ever. In fact, if you wear purple to a bar in Boston you will get your ass kicked—and not because you’re a Lakers fan but because purple is, in Boston speak, “foahr faaags.” Boston fans are racist, sexist, and any other “ist.” So act like it—don’t just chant “Beat LA.”
I’m in a rush, but let’s throw a few anti-Lakers slogans out there. How about “Rape Kobe” or “Kobe=Rapist”? Remember, this year’s NBA MVP was accused of rape in Colorado a few years ago. Let’s not let him forget it, ok? Another good target is Phil Jackson. He’s a new age dickhead. We hate him his Zen pussy shit…
TAGS: Boston, Boston Celtics, Celtics, Colorado, Kobe, Lakers, NBA MVP, Sports
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June 1st, 2008 at 5:30 pm
For the record, I don’t agree with this post.
June 2nd, 2008 at 10:33 am
for the record: I FULLY AGREE WITH THIS POST!
June 2nd, 2008 at 10:45 am
For the record, this post is a joke, made by a guy who used make offensive bootleg Boston sports tees, Jesse (commenter above) is currently an offensive bootleg sports t-shirt maker in Boston, and John Lacriox (other commenter) used to design and run a website for offensive bootleg Boston sports t-shirts.
June 2nd, 2008 at 12:04 pm
How about “Lamar Odomizes Kobe”