The scene in Copley Sq: fans and the racist cops who hate them, arresting a doo-rag-men. Pics by Geoff Kenyon.
In Europe they’re called hooligans, sometimes thugs. Americans call them delinquents, punks. In Boston, Mayor Menino calls them “knuckleheads.” Others use the anti-Irish Sully or Mick. But the most unique word to describe Boston’s insane fans is “Yahoo.” As in, “You see that fahkin’ Yahoo on TV throw a street sign through that window?”
For the past week, I’ve been among the Yahoos in Boston and various towns along Massachuesetts’ North Shore and Merrimack Valley, and in southern New Hampshire. This area truly is Celtic Nation, and it’s where I grew up. Remember, the Pats play 30 miles south of Boston, in Foxboro, and the C’s above North Station. Admittedly, I think I am a Yahoo.
The latest episode of Yahoo-ery started Tuesday night with KG’s post-game interview. The Celtics had just won their first NBA victory in 22 years, a record 17th for the franchise. Still, it was the first ring for C’s superstars’ Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, and Kevin Garnett. Green and white confetti rained down as the Big Three got emo on the parquet. KG—tears in his eyes, scowling, yelping, hat pulled lowed—suddenly thanked “Peanut” on network TV.
Of course, no one knew who Peanut was. But every Yahoo in Boston has a friend nicknamed a Peanut. And with this, the streets began to fill with Yahoos, myself included, our collective inhebriated brains thinking, “Yeah Peanut!!! This one’s for you!!! Peanut…ooowwwoooowaaaawaa!!”
I was by Northeastern University—Yahoo Central—my alma matter (ok, I went there for one year), bottle of tequila in hand, a “Wooooo” on my tongue, celebrating on St Stevens St. There I spotted two Yahoos in wife-beaters aptly beating up a mailbox. One had sweet ink: a tribal armband enmeshed with a Red Sox “B.” Around the corner, in front of Our House (a bar famous for selling $3 32 oz. beers called Bruebakers aka “‘Roid Rage-ade”): ten Yahoos hugging while pogoing and yelling “Boston, Boston!”
Inside the bar, TVs were tuned to live footage of fans rioting downtown—dancing around mini-fires, running into trees, climbing trees, kissing trees, facing off with cops. I soon found myself fighting the bouncer at Our House for absolutely no reason. Kicked out, I put on another shirt and snuck back in. “Lollipop” was playing; chubby fake id chicks dancing; ‘roid bros started fighting. Damn, it felt good to be a Yahoo…
Cops vs Yahoos by Geoff Kenyon
The revelry continued on Thursday, when several hundred thousand Yahoos descended on Beantown for the victory parade. I took the 8:00am train from Haverhill, MA. At a coffee shop by the train station, I overheard a fat white guy say, “Go see the black guys parade by? You kiddin’ me? No way.”
Up on station platform I ran into JJ, a young reporter from the Lawrence Eagle-Tribune, who, like me, was surprised by the number of young female fans. Women made-up over a third of the 300 or so folks waiting. We spoke about the just-issued MBTA press release announcing that the Haverhill line was dealing with “overcrowding and rowdy fans.”
Arriving in Boston at 10:30am, thousands were already lined up on Causeway St in front of the New Garden. The crowd was unlike any I’d ever seen in the city. Inner-city black families, while I’m sure they liked the Red Sox, really seemed to love to the Big Three, and for the first time in memory Boston achieved a sense of civic racial unity.
When the Duck Boats finally pulled onto Causeway every building’s windows were stuffed with fans. Pierce was in a white Nike “The Truth” shirt, a cigar in his mouth, pushing the Finals’ MVP trophy above his head. A few boats later came KG, in a crooked fitted C’s hat, shades, cigar, hugging the gold Finals Trophy. The fan response was God-like.
The crowd was twenty deep, but Causeway is a wide street, and soon a few hundred Yahoos were running alongside KG’s Duck Boat. Jogging with them as Garry Glitter blasted I spotted Ray Allen with both arms raised on one Duck Boat, Big Baby shirtless on another, and Danny Ainge sitting throne-like on the back of yet another. The crowd bottle-necked at Government Center, ending the run along.
Scooting over to Copley Square, Yahoo-dom was in full effect. There must have been 20,000 people in the shadow of the John Hancock building. A perfect, sun-soaked 70 degree day abstracted only by slight clouding reflected off the Hancock tower’s 60-stories of deep blue glass. At street level, every tree had been commandeered by Yahoos. When the C’s finally came by the PA was blasting Kanye West’s “Stonger.” KG and the crowd danced along.
Adding ghetto kids to the Yahoo mix meant the cops had easy targets to set examples with. After the parade passed Copley the cops quelled a tiny scuffle by charging and inciting a mini-riot. It’s always a good idea to break up a small fight with 25 cops wielding extendable batons. No one ever goes wild. Oh wait, they do. Cue up the “Rodney King” chant. Then:”Po-lice bru-talilty!” A red-faced cop mushed me and told me to “fuck off.” A fan mob started running down Boylston. A school bus pulled up and a hundred cops in riot gear exited. I left.
The parade was over, but celebrating continued. A random sampling of people on Newbury St found kids from all over the socio-economic map, from Weston to Mattapan. I didn’t take the train home, but JJ the aforemnetioned reporter filed this story:
LAWRENCE — Police with guns drawn boarded a train carrying celebrating Celtics fans home from the parade and rally in Boston following reports there had been a fight on board yesterday afternoon. According to police the train left North Station in Boston and a fight reportedly broke out as it neared the Merrimack Valley.
Yahoo!
This being Boston’s sixth championshipof the decade (3 Super Bowls, 2 World Series titles, 1 NBA trophy), Yahoos have had a lot of time to perfect the art of celebrating. It’s not like they needed it. Back in 2001, when the Pats first won the Super Bowl, I went down to Northeastern too. Thousands swarmed the streets. Cars were flipped, boobs flashed, cops fought. I think someone died. The police had no idea how to deal with Yahoo-dom. Hooliganism was foreign to these shores.
So the Boston Police Department invested in all sorts of storm trooper-ish gear and gadgets. Instead of preventing violence, though, BPD wound up killing a 20-year-old girl by shooting a rubber bullet into her eye in 2004 when the Sox beat the Yanks.
Obviously some folks in the region hate Yahoos. The Boston Herald being the mouthpiece of conservative anti-Yahoos. Howie Carr, The Herald’s very funny columnist, wrote of C’s Yahoos:
What Boston has really become is Knucklehead Nation, to borrow another of Hizzoner’s favorite words.
Good God, another “rolling rally” yesterday. Isn’t one Hempfest per year more than enough? Hey, sports fans - nobody cares if you get drunk. But stay where you belong, in your mom’s basement. Please, don’t come to Boston to do number one in the street. Gary Zerola, this means you!
I love the idiots who throng into Boston for these parades. Duh, they say, I’m takin’ da day off. The day off from what? The methadone clinic? If you were wondering why it took so long to get an order of fries at McDonald’s, I have two words for you. Sweet Seventeen.
Oh, Howie, what a nice way to describe the first day in Boston history when blacks and whites hugged and danced in the street together.
Yes, Boston’s perfected the art of fan idiocy. It’s all in the name of good times, and occasionally someone gets hurt. But seeing kids’ black and white hugging and high-fiving in a city with a history racism is an overall good thing. The vast majority of the people at the parade were young kids who kept things in line. Anyone who saw the parade had a great time. These mass civic engagements are a net positive for Boston’s culture.
If Boston had the same riot-culture, as say, English soccer fans, Boston, a far tougher city than any in Britain, would burn to the ground. Yahoos celebrate with restraint. Hooligans choose excess and violence first. Boston deserves to be commended for this, not demonized. Still, placed in a world without rule, Yahoos would swallow any Euro “footy thugs” like a shot of Jager.
Here’s your average parade attendees, found on Newbury St. Two kids from Dorchester and two from Brookline, all showing C’s love…
TAGS: beer, Boston, Celtics, drunk, idiot, Kanye West, Kevin Garnett, kids, New Hampshire, NSA, Racial Unity, Racism, Red Sox, Sports, war
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June 23rd, 2008 at 10:17 am
Coming in 2009- “Among the Sullys” Kenyon, Geoff and Lemoine, Ray
June 23rd, 2008 at 10:38 am
That’s the thing about these Yahoos, they’re so bitter with the economy and everything, they cling to sports and violence.