Jacob Van Orden skates to Mozart filmed by Daniel Haney and edited by Jacob Van Orden himself, for Street Pirate Films.
Watch for the full length video, “I Heart Skateboarding”, coming out soon.
Old dudes, don’t you wish?
TAGS: daniel haney, Ira Ingram, Jacob Van Orden, Mozart, SKATEBOARDING, skates, street pirate films
One Name Header Day continues as does the US Open. White people worship tennis and they live for the US Open. With every Grand Slam Event a new tennis hunk emerges that everyone in your office loves and recites random trivia about, and this year it’s Rafael Nadal. Credit Don King and Nike for coming up with the “Grapple in the Apple” :
Over three decades after promoting the ‘Rumble in the Jungle’, the ‘Thrilla in Manila’, and ‘Ali-Frazier II’ at Madison Square Garden, ‘The Don’ is at it again, this time hired by Nike to trumpet the US Open tennis showdown between Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer, depicting them as boxing rivals to mirror Ali-Frazier. Only in America could we have the ‘Grapple In the Apple’. And Only Don King could give it his unique treatment.
King, speaking exclusively to The Daily Telegraph, revealed his “delight” at being called up to promote one of the greatest sporting rivalries on the planet. “You had the ‘Thrilla in Manila’, you had the ‘Rumble in the Jungle’ now we have the ‘Grapple in the Apple’. We gonna take it to the moon. They try to pretend to be friends. But they’re no kin and they’re gonna bend. They got to be competitive.”
Nadal is a natural pick for housewives, gay dudes and straight dudes with waxed eyebrows and fake tans who talk about their “game” over Muscle Milk and free weights. Rafa is a latin hunk, he’s young and flamboyant, the type of dude that according to Ezra Martin “Hits on your girl while you’re in the bathroom taking a piss and then offers you a drink in exchange for her when you come back”. R-Fed is older, less easy on the eyes and I think most people think he’s French, sucks to be him.
I don’t dig looking at “Rafa“, I actually think he’s a bootleg version of Med Agency Alum Aaron Stuart of Piebald. Here’s a pic to prove it (Stuart is on the far left) :
Stuey is a way cooler dude, was pictured on the cover of the New York Times before Rafa (as blogged by Ray Lemoine on Med Agency, link here ), is a biofuel master and is from the Merrimack Valley so I’m giving him a glowing endorsement. I’d rather see every magazine have a picture of Aaron, maybe we can turn Aaron into a Green Hunk, it would raise awareness for alternative fuel sources and get douchey Nadal out of our faces immediately, sounds like a win/win.
TAGS: Aaron Stuart, Don King, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, US Open
I wish I had the time to be at both the Dem’s convention and in Las Vegas for the apparel tradeshows (Magic, Pool and maybe even Project) but this time Lissa will be wo-manning the booth for Free Gold Watch so Rama, Chris Curtis, Chris Butler and I will be trolliping ourselves all over the trade show floor covering all the best new stuff on the market, starting bright and early Monday morning.
If you’re there, come by Pool Show Booth # 634 to see Free Gold Watch and us making fools of ourselves with our cameras and microphones and Tuesday night you might want to check out the party for Vice sponsored by FGW, the Ice Cream Man and Asahi at Beauty Bar featuring a live show by Japanese Motors.
Really, what’s cooler than sitting next to Anna Wintour and not giving a fuck in a baseball cap and shorts? Or being a whigger for that matter?
Michael Phelps is a God. On Saturday night 39 million Americans—93% of the viewing audience, half the number that watch the Super Bowl—saw Phelps win his record 8th gold medal. The NY Daily News ran a poem about the feat, saying the word “wow” 13 times in 60 words. Wow is right.
It took all of four days for the haters chime in…Gawker linked to this VH1 hater post, mocking Phelps’ style for having a “general aura of doucheyness.” First off, to look at Phleps the person as a separate entity from Phelps the swimmer is idiotic. Swimming is an all-consuming sport.
I grew up competitive swimming. From age 6 on I practiced every single day, sometimes twice a day, all year long. I was decent, top ten in the state, and competed against future Olympians like Erik Vendt. Jenny Thompson lived down the street from me. But the psychology of competitive swimming is misunderstood.
With so much near nudity at such a young age, swim teams are hyper-sexualized, insular worlds. Take practice, which is broken down into “sets.” You’re 13 years old. You swim 200 yards. Stop. You hit on a girl with a perfect body for 10 seconds. Then you swim another 200 yards thinking about said girl. This routine creates vivid imaginations—and intense personal discipline. You swim faster because your hormones are raging.
Eventually, at a swim meet, which can last all weekend and usually involve staying in hotels, you hook up with the female you’ve been hitting on for months on end. And that’s a great feeling. Swimmers like Phelps learn at an early age that they can get laid.
But when the meet is over it’s back to training, where you swim without any sound. So you sing songs in your head. For me, it was hardcore punk, Led Zeppelin, rap. Phelps, 23, likes rap—your Jeezy’s and Weezy’s.
Get it? Phelps knew at age 11 that he’d always get girls. He spends 5-plus hours a day swimming in total silence. When he’s not in the pool, the guy is either “sleeping or eating,” in his words, or fucking and listening to rap. He doesn’t have time to give a shit about what VH1’s Best Week Ever thinks.
One thing I can compare swimming to is writing. Sure, I only coauthored one book once, but the intense discipline, reliance on music, time spent wishing you were having sex, and purely internal existence are very similar to swimming.
Thus I ask VH1’s writer to submit eight pictures of himself and his writer friends, like the ones posted of Phleps. The Phelps pics—on the cover of SI, chilling with the Devil, rocking crooked hats—are of a cooler dude than most every writer I know. So stop hating.
Also, Amanda Beard denies she f–ked Phelps:
“Eww, that’s nasty… I have never, ever hooked up with Michael Phelps,” Beard said via telephone from Beijing on the “Johnjay and Rich Show,” which is broadcast on Kiss FM 104.7 in Phoenix…
“Come on, I have really good taste… He’s really not my type.”
But another Michigan alum I know certainly did hook up with her, and rumor has it she’s a nympho. I bet Phelps humped her.
UPDATE 5:27pm: A concerned reader sent me a picture of the VH1 writer, Alex Blagg, who called Phelps’ style “douche-y” (wait, since when is looking like you clean vagina a bad thing?). Without further ado, I give you what VH1 wishes Michael Phelps looked like:
The Spanish women’s tennis team was photographed doing the eye-slit gesture in February, two months before their next Federation Cup match against China. This comes on the heels of a photo of the Spanish Olympic men’s basketball team pulling the same pose for a Spanish ad campaign.
Spain has two medals so far in the Olympics. That nicely matches the number of black eyes they’ll be leaving these games with.
Fucking idiots. That’s the only way to describe the photo below. The Spanish basketball team that’s competing in the Olympics in China decided to pose for a racist photo for a domestic ad campaign. Somehow, the players and everyone associated with Spanish basketball thought that this picture was harmless. Riiiiight. Is David Stern going to punish the NBA players (ahem, Pau Gasol) involved with this racist ad campaign?
The US beats the favored French, who talked some pre-game smack, in the 4×100 relay by eight one-hundreths of a second!
This should add a little spice to the Olympics:
The Frenchman Frederick Bousquet said, “I talked to my coach, and he said the ideal position for us was to finish second behind the U.S. and they beat the world record and they come in as favorites tomorrow and tomorrow morning we take all that they have.”
“The Americans?” Bernard recently told the sports newspaper L’Equipe, “We’re going to smash them. That’s what we came for.”
Bousquet looked at members of the United States team in the ready room Sunday and saw a few cracks. “They didn’t look at us, although usually they do,” he said. “We could sense that they were a little bit afraid.”
TAGS: Crack, Olympics, Sports
I may also report it was a boring match and we will continue to embargo Cuba for pretty much no reason at all.
Watch top Ippons and see Korea killing it.
TAGS: Cuba, Judo, OlympicsSHIT!!! Kobe’s now talking of playing pro hoops in Europe, specifically Italy - probably Milan. I thought it was kinda cool that Josh Childress went to Greece to play for the next few seasons and earn some money that the NBA wont allow these guys to get paid. I also thought it was maybe a good idea that Lebron James would even consider playing in Europe as well. But now two of the leagues best players considering a move across the Atlantic, seems a little more realistic than I wanted it to be. I mean, Kobe grew up part of young life watching his pops, “Jelly Bean” Bryant, play in Italy - so maybe it’s somewhat fitting for him to follow suit.
Boston Globe/Associated Press story here…
If Italy comes knocking with big money next summer, the NBA could lose its biggest star in Kobe Bryant. In lieu of a report that Cleveland star Lebron James would strongly consider playing in Europe for $50 million for one season when he becomes a free agent in two years, when asked by The Boston Globe about the report Bryant said he would take a similar deal by a pro team in Italy if offered when he becomes a free agent next summer. The Associated Press originally reported that Bryant could have interest in playing professionally in Europe. “I’d go. I’d probably go,” said Bryant, during a USA Basketball press conference on Friday morning. “Like Milan or something like that, where I grew up or something like that? Peace out.” Bryant continued: “Do you know any reasonable person that would turn down 50 (million dollars)?”
We (U.S.A.) get Pau Gasol and Dirk Novitski, you (Europe) get Lebron and Kobe. That’s not a fair trade.
Why aren’t these European clubs paying their own stars huge amounts of cash to stay in their perspective leagues? Is the NBA that much better than the Euro leagues as a whole? Is it pretty much the opposite for the M.L.S. (Major League Soccer in the US) vs. all the badass soccer leagues in Europe?
But think about it, really really really $50 million per season for an adult to play a game that involves wearing baggy shorts and throwing a ball around? That’s fucked… That’s a whole other story…
TAGS: Basketball, Boston, free, Kobe, Kobe Bryant, TradeKing James playing in Europe? Probably not. But wouldn’t that be interesting? Rumors around the NBA and Olympic Hoops are that Greek Pro Basketball team Olympiakos, based in Athens, is on the hunt for the King James. Recently Josh Childress, formerly a 6th man for the Atlanta Hawks, signed a contract with the same Greek squad for $20 million for 3 years with most everything (living expenses, etc.) being picked up by the team - and it made the news, barely. But this would really get us hoops nerds talking. Word is that Lebron could make anywhere from $40 - $50 million, yes, per season playing in Greece whereas the Cavs (or any NBA team for that matter) could only offer him just less than $20 mill per season. Teams in Europe don’t have salary caps on their superstars, unlike the NBA which does impose the salary cap rule.
South Americans and Europeans (and from elsewhere) have been killing it in the NBA for quite some time. Think of all the current International stars in the NBA: Manu Ginobli (all-star), Dirk Nowitski (all-star), Tony Parker (all-star), Yao Ming (all-star), Tim Duncan (all-star), Steve Freakin Nash (all-star), Sasha Vujacic, Vladamir Radmonovic, this list gos on and on and further on. So maybe it’s time for the NBA to lose some players over seas for a few years to make things interesting. Whaddya think?
TAGS: Atlanta, Basketball, nerds, Sports
Skatebook launch party for the Paul Sharpe edition.
Free drinks and skating.
6-9pm 90 N 11th Street, Williamsburg, NY 11211
(say hi to Salman for me!)
TAGS: Brooklyn, free, williamsburgIt’s a sad day as longtime Braves play-by-play man Skip Caray has passed away at 68 after a long struggle with diabetes, congestive heart failure, irregular heartbeat, cirrhosis, and reduced kidney functions. The man partied hard and he paid for it. Skip was the Braves play-by-play guy since 1976, before I was even born, and it’s not a stretch to say that besides my family, there’s no voice that ’s more familiar to me. Like his dad, he never played organized baseball. He wasn’t a baseball man, he was a baseball fan. But unlike his good-natured pop, he never tried to be anything but a sarcastic, dirty-mouthed S.O.B. As he said, “I’m the wise ass in the family.” He compared his ex-wives to players he didn’t like. He once said, “the bases are loaded again, and I wish I was too.” He would say about reliever Jung Bong, “there’s another hit off the bong.” For a guy in his 60s, he was a riot to the end, and I’m sure that away from the microphone, he was over the top. Still, the man had a big heart and never crossed the line between caustic and malicious. He will be missed.
Swung, line drive left field! One run is in! Here comes Bream! Here’s the throw to the plate! He is … safe! Braves win! Braves win! Braves win! Braves win!
Not a photoshop: sparring with Ali in 1977
TAGS: Atlanta Braves, Harry Caray, Muhammad Ali, Sid Bream, Skip Caray, TBS, WTBSDanny Way at the XGames getting WRECKED. I knew that super-ramp was a bad idea.
TAGS: Danny Way, SKATEBOARDING, Slam, Xgames
Clockwise from top left: RB Knowshon Moreno, QB Matthew Stafford, Andre Woodson tackled by DT Geno Atkins, Coach Richt
It’s official: the USA Today Coaches Poll is in, and the Georgia Bulldogs lead the pack. The Dawgs were the second half surprise of College Football last season. Left for dead after tough losses to South Carolina and Tennessee, and needing a fourth-quarter come-from-behind win against Vanderbilt, the team looked like a questionable bowl game pick. But out of nowhere, redshirt freshman running back Knowshon Moreno had the game of his life with 188 yards rushing against the defending National champion Florida Gators, a team that had beat Georgia fifteen of the last seventeen games in The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. Georgia didn’t lose another game and went on to obliterate Hawaii in the Sugar Bowl.
The Bulldogs enter 2008 with most of their 2007 roster intact. DT Geno Atkins leads what could be the best defense in the nation. QB Matthew Stafford is already mentioned as a first-round NFL draft pick. Knowshon rushed for more yards in backing up Thomas Brown than any freshman in SEC history except Herschel Walker, Jamal Lewis and Emmitt Smith. And redshirt freshman RB Caleb King — who out of high school was more highly thought of than even Knowshon – is set to make one of the most anticipated debuts in Bulldog history.
Everything looks perfect for Georgia, and hopes have never been higher in Bulldog Country. There’s only one problem: Georgia faces one of the the toughest schedules in the nation. They get to play No. 6 LSU, No. 11 Auburn, and No. 16 Arizona State on the road, No. 5 Florida in “neutral” Jacksonville, and No. 18 Tennessee at home. And they face highly regarded South Carolina away and Bama in Athens. It would take a small miracle for any team to get through this schedule with only one or two losses, and Georgia would still have to beat probably Auburn or LSU in the SEC Championship Game to play for its first National Championship since Vince Dooley’s 1980 squad. If you want a Champion pick, USC or Ohio State would be a safer choice, but the Bulldogs are the best.
Regardless, this will be one hell of a season.
Games that look amazing right now:
Aug. 30: App State at LSU
Sept. 13: Ohio State at Southern Cal
Sept. 20: LSU at Auburn
Oct. 11: Texas at Oklahoma
Oct. 18: Missouri at Texas
Oct. 23: Auburn at West Virginia
Oct. 25: Georgia at LSU
Nov. 1: Florida vs. Georgia
Nov. 15: Georgia at Auburn
Nov. 22: Texas Tech at Oklahoma
Nov. 29: Clemson at South Carolina
Dec. 6: South Florida at West Virginia
Manny Ramirez with Manny Ramirez, Jr. (b. 2003); Manny Ramirez, Jr. (b. 1995) not pictured
I know that my bloggers in crime who are Red Sox fans will have far more eloquence and gravitas than I could possibly provide on this subject, but it’s been a fun fucking 7.5 years watching Manny be Manny with the Red Sox. As of this afternoon, Manny is a Dodger, Andy LaRoche is a Pirate (ouch) and Jason Bay is the luckiest guy in Pittsburgh as he’s headed for the Sox, the first time he’s ever been on a winning team.
As one of the last members of the Red Sox to have been acquired by Dan Duquette, it’s really worth mentioning how much Boston is indebted to the Duke. The man was responsible for Manny, Pedro, Nomar, Varitek, D-Lowe, Damon, Youkilis, and (most importantly) Carl Everett, AND he was smart enough to let go of Mo Vaughn. Yet all he gets remembered for is not re-signing pre-HGH Roger Clemens after he had four pretty mediocre seasons. He scored amazing trades like getting Pedro from the Expos for Carl Pavano and Tony Armas, and getting Varitek and Lowe for freakin’ Heathcliff Slocumb. He even drafted Gary Sheffield (for the Brewers). Yet he’s out of Major League Baseball forever.
Theo looks better on TV, but there’s no doubt in my mind who is most responsible for the Sox’ breakthrough.
Here’s to you, Mr. Duquette.
The Chicago Summer
I’m in Chicago working on a top secret Med related project that has nothing to with Obama, the Dem Party’s moving here, or The Dark Knight being filmed here. Anyway, I grab the tabloid this morning a see this cover story about a Cub’s fan beating a Sox fan’s eye out during a 2-year old’s birthday party!
Sox fan Robert Steele’s eye was damaged beyond repair when an attacker wearing steel-toed boots kicked him in the face during the 2-year-old’s birthday party…
I’ve always thought that only Boston and New York had real baseball fans. But with both the Sox and Cubs in first place, it seems Chicago has gone baseball mad. Ah, summer, baseball, fan violence…what’s better than that?
TAGS: attack, Boston, New York, obama
“I don’t have any preferences. I could choose a team that offers me the best conditions or one in the chase for the postseason. I don’t care where I play, I can even play in Iraq if need be. My job is to play baseball,” Ramirez added.
As the Major League Baseball trade deadline approaches you can be sure of several things : Buster Olney reporting trades he’s invented in the space below his bad haircut, Peter Gammons hyping Boston’s prospects, talk of the “high price of middle relief” and the yearly Manny Ramirez trade request. It’s become a ritual for Manny to sit out a few games and make some odd comments giving Boston’s hack writers plenty to speculate about. Pepper Manny’s quotes with some fake “insider” info and you get a shitty scribe’s dream. Each year Manny’s conviction is questioned from faking injuries to having drinks and dining with the enemy.
Manny’s most recent request, as per ESPN is the most threatening because his end is actually near in a Red Sox uniform as his guaranteed contract expires at the end of the 2008 season. With the Red Sox holding the options they can essentially have him for 2 years on year to year contracts without any fiscal commitment. If you know this administration you know this is their ultimate dream as it should be. You have one of the greatest hitters in the game under your control as he approaches the most dangerous part of his career for decline without any risk.
20 mil would sound sweet to most players but at 36 Manny knows if he’s not granted free agency he’s potentially under Red Sox control until he’s 38. As a 36 year old he can possibly lock up a 4 year deal totaling around 100 million dollars. As a 38 year old Free Agent he wouldn’t be as attractive to a potential suitor and would be costing himself millions of dollars.
Manny is a unique talent and personality. His swings of the bat and mood have provided me with more joy, entertainment and drama than any other slugger that has played for the Boston Red Sox. Each year his godlike and consistent numbers have provided me with the facts to defend his quirks and his highlight reel proves him to be the anti-Jeter. He’s a player who navigates the field with childlike enthusiasm and approaches hitting with a surgical precision. His combination of savant, scholar and innocence has become endearing to his fans and inflammatory to his critics. He shuns the stoic and bland post-game comments for high fives, “being a legacy” and awkward cut-off throws. His thick mound of dreadlocks resembling tarantula legs swinging out of his doo-rag are the antithesis of Jeter and A-Rod’s tightly wound early 1990s out-of-date In Living Color fades.
Boston fans have a genuine love for Manny being Manny despite how hard the hacks try to paint him as an uncaring lazy fuck who just wants his paycheck. When Manny first came to Boston he was viewed by the media as Dan Duquette’s consolation prize for not catching the “moose” during the free agent hunting season. There were a few fluff pieces about his dynamic ability but nothing about Manny the person. It’s a combination of Manny’s reluctance to deal with writers so quick to critique him and his English and writer’s lack of giving a fuck. Boston writers would drink sweat wrung from Curt Schilling’s bloody sock but it’s inconceivable that Manny Ramirez could ever have a sore hamstring or knee, he’s just a lazy ass fat fucking baby.
Fans were willing to quickly forget the recent tantrum / Mantrum® when Ramirez physically assaulted a Red Sox official over some comp’ed tickets but this latest tirade actually feels like goodbye. It’s your partner asking you to talk to her over a “cup of coffee”, a Dear John note to the fans. He’s laid out an impossible plan for ownership as they cannot trade him for value and if they retain him they’re unsure if he’ll be reliable down the stretch run. This time Manny is gone, there was something special in his relationship with the fans. We were willing to overlook his cracks because at the end of the day he made us each of us feel like like the most handsome / pretty motherfucker in the room with the biggest dick and splashiest swagger (No homo) with his moon shot home runs and legitimately fucking gangster celebrations. Each one was like a Picasso, a brilliant stroke followed up by some burst of emotion punctuated by a gesture that would give you chills. Unfortunately the romance is over, it’s genuinely not us his him this time and like his monster shots, they only blast forward towards the Mass Pike and out of evil Boston.
Cue up You Can’t Always Get What You Want or something and picture those dreadlocks silhouetted as he walks off into the sunset. We can occasionally pull out our 2004 memory chest and reminisce but number 24 is destined to be the one that got away.
TAGS: A-Rod, Manny Ramirez, Red Sox, Trade, Yankees
Really, Boston Dirt Dogs? You’re still going after “Yankees Suck” chants and tees?
Here’s some backstory. I started making the above shirts in 99. Around 02 or 03 a bunch of middle age weird semi-jocks wearing Oakley Blades and headphones started lurking around Fenway with Boston Dirt Dogs signs and t-shirts. They were trying to “Bring positivity to Boston’s fans,” one of the Dirt Dogs told me. Normally, someone treading on YS shirt turf would get handed a beatdown, but no one—and I mean no one—bought their shirts. (We had someone tail them and count shirts sold; tally: 0.) So they started a website, The Boston Globe bought in, and now they make $$$ on advertising.
Today they post “Tis is the Season to Remind You That You’ll Look Like a Tool If You Wear Those Shirts and Chant That Low Rent Chant.” Actually, every Boston fan thinks the Yankees suck. And those 50,000-plus shirts sold were to fans of all ages, from all walks of life. Dirt Dogs, you’re just haters. Get over the fact that you never sold any shirts. You wanted to channel “positive” fan energy in a cynical city that takes baseball more seriously than life itself. If you think Derek Jeter doesn’t suck, you’re not a Red Sox fan. And your eight examples of the Yankees not sucking suck too. Curt Shilling? Bill Burt? Kevin Cullen? Where’s Sully McMurphy’s or Joey from West Roxbury’s opinion?
Beckett vs Joba tonight at Fenway, 7pm. And Joba sucks.
TAGS: Boston, dog, Jeter, jocks, Red Sox, t-shirts, Yankees, Yankees Suck
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