Gimmick rockers unite! Actresses Scarlett J and Zooey D both go indie…
Best album ever by an actor—Scarlett J? So says New York Magazine. Somehow I doubt it (does Kris Kristoffersen count as an actor or singer?). Actually, it sounds like the worst album ever recorded in world history: Scarlett covering Tom Waits tunes in a Nico-y voice and recorded in Louisiana with the guy from TV on the Radio. (Even Dick Dead in the graveyard at midnight with Diesel jeans sounds better.)
This=good?
We’ve finally heard her forthcoming album of Tom Waits covers for ourselves, and it’s official: Scarlett Johansson just gave us a Woody Allen. (And by the way, can’t you just hear the little man saying schwing?) The disc, Anywhere I Lay My Head, is good.
And yes, girl can sing. Not like Waits — that, of course, would be impossible, not to mention unbecoming. Think Nico, if Nico weren’t a Germanic death angel but the remaining American actress of her age who has not openly displayed her vagina. And who here is the Woody to Johansson’s crooning alter-ego? Dave Sitek, that arrogant white guy from TV on the Radio. (He acted as producer. David Bowie, by the way, also sings on a couple of songs, but obviously he’s no 24-year-old actress.)
To paraphrase Jerry Seinfield, What is it with “quirky” actresses recording lame albums? Another new Indie-Hollywood duo, M Ward and an actress named “Zooey Deschanel,” are hyped in the NYT today. Per NYT: “Zooey Deschanel is often cast as the quirky naïf or the ironic wit…”
In what might be the worst paragraph of National Poetry Month, Melana Ryzik describes the life and times of Zooey D:
Though she was raised and lives amid celebrity in Los Angeles and has appeared in both hugely popular films (“Elf,” in which she briefly sang) and critical and cult favorites (“Almost Famous,” “All the Real Girls”), it’s easy to imagine her puttering around a cozily decorated Williamsburg loft. She takes home doggie bags, prefers tights to spray-tans and uses David Bowie’s “Changes” as her ring tone. She knits and crochets and makes brownies and gingerbread because, she said, “I like the way people react when you bake, which is, like, just pure childlike joy.”
I don’t know much about M Ward, though I do—or used to—like Merge Records, who released this gimmick of an album. I may be decade late, but I suppose now is the time to officially declare indie rock dead.
Indie classicists Pavement, Archers of Loaf, and Built to Spill are among the most underrated bands ever. If those bands formed today, post-Indie takeover, they would be playing Archers’ “Web in Front,” Pavement’s “Gold Sounds,” and BTS’ “Carry the Zero” at sporting events. Every one of their respective albums rule (how many bands have 8 solid outings like Archers?) and nearly all push new boundaries. Pavement, on their first three records, moved from jangly pop to post-pop to stoner fuzz. BTS recorded 10 minute songs on “Further From Now On” after “Keep it Like a Sceret,” an album of 4-minute tunes.
Yet since 1999 indie has gotten safer and safer, moving further and further mainstream, growing risk averse, and sounding boring as hell—like a genre shivering in the face of internet downloads. Modest Mouse is largely to blame (though Antartica is a classic). That Volkswagon song did it.
And Arcade Fire, despite being pretty decent, put the nail in the coffin by kissing Bruce Sprinsteen’s ass. Yes, the Boss rules (Promised Land anyone?), but what he stands for (stadium guitar solos, Made in the USA pride, un-ironic lyrics, the red-head-girl-next-door, union work) is the opposite of indie values (solo-less tunes in rock dives, anti-commercialism, ironic lyrics, dyed-haired art school chicks, non-union service industry work).
Now we have scary bad bands like Vampire Weekend stealing the “indie” flag. Kwaito infused Ivy prep-pop is not cool, not indie. Kwaito is South African rap/house music. White kids from Columbia U stealing kwaito’s style makes Eminem look like Fredrick Douglas. To do so and then put on tennis outfits and look cute is like wiping your ass with an anti-apartheid poster. Looking like an Afrikkaner while playing South African ghetto music sucks.
Vampire Weekend and South African Afrikkans share a colonial style! And they rip-off South African Kwaito music too! This is similar to wearing an SS uniform and playing klezmer music.
TAGS:
Built To Spill,
dog,
indie rock,
kids,
Music,
New York,
Stoner,
war,
williamsburg
RELATED POSTS:
SUBSCRIBE TO RSS
