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Bleacher Bar: Best Bar in Boston


Thursday, June 26, 2008 - 12:09 pm (EST)
By Ray LeMoine


Bleacher Bar view and the scene at C’s party c/o Flickr

The Lyons Group, purveyors of such Boston nightlife entities as Axis, Bill’s Bar, Avalon, Sonsie, and Game On, have about the worst track record in America. Despite two decades of trying, they could never open a decent club, bar, lounge or restaurant.

Or they couldn’t until now.

Somehow the Lyons Group wound up with a lease for the former storage space underneath the bleachers in dead-center at Fenway. They converted it into The Bleacher Bar, which opened last month.

I visited the space a few times in the past week. The bar’s ceiling is the actual bleachers, crooking down step by step ala MC Escher from about 25-feet at the Lansdowne-facing backside to 15-feet along the field. At over 3000 sq ft, the space could fit 400 comfortably. Its walls cut diagonally, making the bar’s widest area right in front of a garage door that, get this, looks out on a panoramic view of Fenway Park.

I mean, this is a better view than many bleacher or right field seats and you even don’t need tickets. Getting in to Fenway will cost, at minimun, $100. Best deal in Boston? Check. The Bleacher Bar is free and has cheaper beer than Fenway. It offers a full bar and serves excellent bacon cheese fries, sliders, and hot pastrami sandwiches at reasonable prices. A half-dozen high tables dot the area in front of the garage door. Wood booths line the walls. A grand, mirrored “Green Monster Bar” scales the back wall. The men’s restroom is elevated above the fray, but the architects were genius: a window above the urinal looks down on the bar and out to field. The light fixtures and ventilation system are exsposed and tastefully industrial, making the space like a Tribeaca loft/sports bar embedded inside a Fenway Park cave.

On a recent Thursday at 10pm, when the Sox had the day off, there were only about six or seven customers. We took a seat at the open garage door, a cool summer breeze a-blowing. Fenway Park was all epic hard-angled shadows, save a few emergency lights and the luxury boxes’ glow. Our waitress told us, “Yeah, we just opened so no one knows about this place yet. The Globe hasn’t done a story or anything.”

Were Boston any other city, Bleacher Bar would have a DJ and the place would be hopping on a Thursday night. Imagine dancing and raging in the shadows of Fenway?

A few day later I returned at 5pm on a game day. Bleacher Bar definitely had more customers, but it was still half-empty, and my party scored the best seats in the house—right in front of the garage door.

A few days prior, the Celtics, having just won their 17th title, had been invited to throw out the first pitch at Fenway. The team held a pre-party at Bleacher Bar. Our waitress refued to confirm whether the C’s were smoking weed. A bus boy, who was there all night, said he didn’t see anything, but did say that during a rain delay the C’s came back to the bar from inside the Park and partied with customers.

By 6pm the bar was packed with your usual Fenway rats and families, so many of whom said, “Wow, this place is great.” Suddenly, I looked out the garage door and saw Josh Becket, my hero and that night’s starter, stretching on the door. Like two feet from me!

Boston is a city with a lot of bars but very few good ones. Actually, I can’t think of one must-see bar in Boston, except Sullivan’s Tap by the New Garden. The Rat is closed. Allston’s Common Ground is good one night a week. The Middle East is in Cambrdge. Maybe there’s some other place, but there’s no chance they combine form and function as well as the Bleacher Bar.  

TAGS: beer, Boston, Celtics, free, Sandwich, Sports

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Hitler’s Children


Wednesday, June 25, 2008 - 10:20 pm (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

Sports Blog Wars

I’m Jewish; Nazis suck. But I also recognize that had Hitler not pussied out on Operation Sea Lion and invaded the UK, we’d all be speaking German. Likewise, had he not gone south to annex Czech-ville before heading to the USSR, the German Army may well have taken Stalingrad pre-winter and we’d all be sprechen deutsch. Actually, I’d never have been born, but whatevs.

Somehow, our boy ‘Dolf came up in a b-ball column on ESPN’s website a few weeks ago. A black woman, Jemele Hill, compared rooting for my beloved Celtics as akin to rooting for Hitler. What I think she meant was that it was like rooting for Citi or GE, but her next sentence featured Gorby, so she was on a politically metaphorical level. It was a dumb statement, that’s all.

But these b-ball fans at Red’s Army ran a “Let’s Get Jemele Hill Fired” post:

For those who don’t know,Jemele Hill is a horrible sports journalist. I once watched her host Jim Rome’s show and thought to myself, “A high-school kid could do a better job.” She’s attacking the Celtics in her latest ESPN Page 2 column…but here’s a line sure to piss some people off:

“Rooting for the Celtics is like saying Hitler was a victim. It’s like hoping Gorbachev would get to the blinking red button before Reagan.”

Amazingly, that line made it past the editors at ESPN.com (Journalism 101 - Rule 1.1 - Never reference Hitler). As Deadspin so deftly points out, someone finally had the smarts to take it down. For me, that’s not good enough. Let’s email ESPN and demand Hill be fired for the simple reason that we shouldn’t be exposed to her garbage any longer.

Jemele got fired, and gave this interview:

You posted something on your personal blog saying you got e-mails calling you the N-word. How many such e-mails did you get?

A lot. But I hesitate to get into that because I’m not a victim and I don’t want it to come off like I’m saying, ‘Oh, look what happened to me.’ These are the consequences of my action. It doesn’t give anybody the right to call me that, and this is the nastiest batch of mail I’ve received, ever, in my 11-year career. But I don’t want that to be the focus.

To which Red’s Army responded:

I’m hoping… HOPING… that none of you sent that sort of email to her.  If you did… I would invite you to never come back.  That beyond worse than what she wrote.  What she wrote was dumb.  What people said in those emails was disgusting and hateful.  It kills me to read things like that.

I just don’t get people sometimes.

In between these episodes (Red A’s firing campaign, her firing, the n*gger emails, and Red A’s denouncing of n*gger emails), we at Med A engaged in a battle with Red’s A over whether Boston was a racist city. Red A accused Anthony of using generalizations when describing Boston’s racism. In fact, Anthony used specifics. He along with many others at Med A have seen the Boston police single out people of color for lesser crimes than we were committing at the exact same time. We’ve seen entire black neighborhoods paved over to make way for college dorms. And so on.

Red’s A countered by saying: “Racism, obviously, still exists in EVERY city… not just Boston. Boston has gone to great lengths to combat it. But times change… and even incidents of racism in certain cities shouldn’t color the entire city as racist.”

Actually, few northern cities are as racially segregated as Boston. Fewer still have as deep a pervading mistrust of one another as Boston’s blacks and whites.

Finally, it seems Red A’s campaign against Hill led to many-a-racist emails, further proving that racism is a Boston forte. Red’s A should have listened to us when we said a crusade of protest against a young, female, black sportswriter would lead to further racism. We suggested their petition would be better directed at, say, the genocide in Darfur or crisis in Zimbabwe. Or maybe they should have just stuck to sports writing and not ventured into journalism ethics.

TAGS: attack, Boston, Celtics, ESPN, HBO, Hitler, Jemele Hill, political, Racism, spin, Sports, war

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Among The Yahoos


Sunday, June 22, 2008 - 11:21 am (EST)
By Ray LeMoine
Dispatch from the Celts’ victory parade—racial unity achieved!…When compared to Boston’s hardened sports thugs, Bill Buford was hanging with Peace Now at the World Cup 90…
  

The scene in Copley Sq: fans and the racist cops who hate them, arresting a doo-rag-men. Pics by Geoff Kenyon.

In Europe they’re called hooligans, sometimes thugs. Americans call them delinquents, punks. In Boston, Mayor Menino calls them “knuckleheads.” Others use the anti-Irish Sully or Mick. But the most unique word to describe Boston’s insane fans is “Yahoo.” As in, “You see that fahkin’ Yahoo on TV throw a street sign through that window?”

For the past week, I’ve been among the Yahoos in Boston and various towns along Massachuesetts’ North Shore and Merrimack Valley, and in southern New Hampshire. This area truly is Celtic Nation, and it’s where I grew up. Remember, the Pats play 30 miles south of Boston, in Foxboro, and the C’s above North Station. Admittedly, I think I am a Yahoo. 

The latest episode of Yahoo-ery started Tuesday night with KG’s post-game interview. The Celtics had just won their first NBA victory in 22 years, a record 17th for the franchise. Still, it was the first ring for C’s superstars’ Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, and Kevin Garnett. Green and white confetti rained down as the Big Three got emo on the parquet.  KG—tears in his eyes, scowling, yelping, hat pulled lowed—suddenly thanked “Peanut” on network TV. 

Of course, no one knew who Peanut was. But every Yahoo in Boston has a friend nicknamed a Peanut. And with this, the streets began to fill with Yahoos, myself included, our collective inhebriated brains thinking, “Yeah Peanut!!! This one’s for you!!! Peanut…ooowwwoooowaaaawaa!!”

I was by Northeastern University—Yahoo Central—my alma matter (ok, I went there for one year), bottle of tequila in hand, a “Wooooo” on my tongue, celebrating on St Stevens St. There I spotted two Yahoos in wife-beaters aptly beating up a mailbox. One had sweet ink: a tribal armband enmeshed with a Red Sox “B.” Around the corner, in front of Our House (a bar famous for selling $3 32 oz. beers called Bruebakers aka “‘Roid Rage-ade”): ten Yahoos hugging while pogoing and yelling “Boston, Boston!”

Inside the bar, TVs were tuned to live footage of fans rioting downtown—dancing around mini-fires, running into trees, climbing trees, kissing trees, facing off with cops. I soon found myself fighting the bouncer at Our House for absolutely no reason. Kicked out, I put on another shirt and snuck back in. “Lollipop” was playing; chubby fake id chicks dancing; ‘roid bros started fighting. Damn, it felt good to be a Yahoo…

(more…)

TAGS: beer, Boston, Celtics, drunk, idiot, Kanye West, Kevin Garnett, kids, New Hampshire, NSA, Racial Unity, Racism, Red Sox, Sports, war

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Green Girls


Saturday, June 21, 2008 - 10:22 am (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

Attending Thursday’s Celtics’ victory parade, I was amazed by how high a percentage of the crowd were women. After the parade ended, I borrowed Geoff Kenyon’s camera to document the scene on Newbury St. Never has Boston’s most famous commercial strip had such a cool, young, and festive spirit.

TAGS: Boston, Celtics

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Boston, You Deserved This… Congratulations.


Thursday, June 19, 2008 - 12:01 pm (EST)
By GnarlyTown USA

Am I crazy?

From a life long, die hard (and much hated) Laker fan to all Celtics fans out there - just wanted to say, Congratulations. This was your year.  For the past two weeks I wanted to deny the fact that the Celtics would beat my Lakers.  I wanted to think that the Lakers could pull off this somewhat impossible challenge of beating a team of such talent, drive and toughness.  Even a writer for ESPN.com during the pre-season said in his article that he predicted the Lakers wouldn’t even make the playoffs, let alone come out on top of the West - well they did make the playoffs, and came out on top of the west, and had a somewhat easy road to the finals, whereas the Celtics struggled but came out on top of every single series this season.  This playoffs it sure showed that the Boston Celtics’ dudes have huge hearts and huge balls.  Well it was your year and we all knew it from even pre-season.  Paul, Ray, Kevin, and even Doc killed it all season long, segueing right into the playoffs and eventually, the NBA Finals …Enjoy the parade, the celebrations and all the hangovers involved in victory.

TAGS: Boston, Boston Celtics, Celtics, ESPN, Lakers, NBA Finals

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Live Blogging The Celtics Parade


Thursday, June 19, 2008 - 9:31 am (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

NOTE: This was posted by my friend Scott from a series of text messages I sent.

Today is the rolling rally for the C’s. Its not even 10 am yet and shit is popping. The Mbta warns that the haverhill line, and only the haverhill Line, is dealing with rowdy fans and overcrowding. We come from the land of bostons biggest asshole fans! The train is full and cheering and only at the second of 10 stops. People are passing bottles of booze. Lots of blonde girls in knee high green socks. I just heard a guy say, “go to the parade? And watch the black guys walk by? You’re kidding me right!”. Okaaay

Lawrence stop just added 300 pureto ricans with boom boxes blasting reggaeton and 50 babies in green.

North station and the streets are already packed.

More to come

TAGS: Babies, Boston, Celtics, Reggae, war

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Bouncers at Boston bar Our House still suck, are p*ssies.


Wednesday, June 18, 2008 - 10:26 pm (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

See you at the parade!

Hey ya’ll, just got back from 24 hrs of rioting in Boston after the Celtics beat the Lakers in Game 6 by 40 points, scoring 131. Yes, 131 f–king points! Drank one too many Uncle Sal’s (tequila shot chased by beer)…

I’d like to report that Boston sports fans are cockier, wigger-ier, and more violent than ever.

Also, I scuffled with the manager of Our House after he talked shit to me for accidentally bumping into him during the trophy presentation. It got to the point where I was in the street calling him a “b*tch” as he tried to lock the bar and call the police. Thus improving our record vs the staff of Our House to 13-0. Of course, right after the beef ended, I changed clothes and went back in to the bar…

TAGS: beer, Boston, Celtics, Lakers, Sports

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Tommy Esquire on Polow Da Don


Wednesday, June 18, 2008 - 10:02 pm (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

Everyone please welcome Tommy Esquire aka he can’t use his real name because his law firm will kill him. Tommy is from the dirty South and loves rap and hates Republicans.

These days you can’t turn on the radio without hearing another G get soft on a track with T-Pain or Trey Songz. You can’t knock the hustle, and no doubt cats like Plies turned themselves into walking bankrolls with this strategy. But that ain’t shit for me the rap fan. The whole reason the south took over in the first place was rappers up north surrounded themselves with R&B chicks reenacting Grease.

That’s why you gotta love a dude like Polow Da Don who sets the streets on fire even after making millions off beats for Fergie, Usher and the Pussycat Dolls. Playa somehow went from jheri-fro’d boy model in the video for KP & Envyi’s A-town bass classic “Shorty Swing My Way,” to rapping with local Atl group Jim Crow in the 90s, to bustin’ outta nowhere with beats for every song on pop radio the last couple years. (And no matter what you think about the Pussycat Dolls, his songs are fucking ear candy. “Glamorous” is my jam, alright.)

Luckily, Polow still makes time for actual rappers. After getting Mobile’s Rich Boy out there on his Zone 4 (via Interscope) imprint, he’s now got YV from Louisville, Kentucky up to bat. YV got his start writing hooks for other rappers, and Polow thought enough of him to let him shine on his own. His new joint “I Gotta Dolla,” produced by Willie Will and featuring Polow, is starting to burn up clubs in the south, and it might just be a matter of time before this takes over the radio too. It has sort of an arcade feel, but with these gutta-ass synth horns that would fit in with any classic No Limit joint. People down south like to dance. I like to dance too, only I’m white. I sold my left leg for a diamond ring for my wife, and she sold her left hand to give me the ability to dance. Naw, that was O Henry, I read it in the 9th grade. I can’t dance, and my wife still ain’t got a ring. But the Celtics do. Congrats Beantown!!

“The record start skippin’ e’rytime she walk past
Now look in the sky an’ tell me that ain’t real cash!”

YouTube Preview Image

TAGS: Celtics, model, Republicans, Video, youtube

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Jemele Hill Is A Terrrible Writer But Celtics Fans Are Soft


Tuesday, June 17, 2008 - 12:40 pm (EST)
By Anthony Pappalardo

ESPN Page 2 columnist Jemele Hill has everyone heated with her controversial comments that were pulled from her latest article :

Rooting for the Celtics is like saying Hitler was a victim. It’s like hoping Gorbachev would get to the blinking red button before Reagan.

The column got past her editors with this comment which isn’t surprising because they let Bill Simmons submit the same article every fucking day. Just a side note, does he have a “Sports Guy Column Generator” that spits out tired 1980s guy pop culture references in Men’s Mag Slang centered around a Boston team or his latest man-crush? Bad news Bill, Karate Kid sucks, Star Wars sucks, the Godfather is long and fucking boring and you have Bank Teller hair. Now back to Jemele, in keeping with ESPN Page 2’s style, she’s a terrible writer and she used a pretty raw comparison. Hitler and 9/11 comparisons normally result in someone going “Whoaaaa man stop it don’t go there!” as if some imaginary line has been crossed that could only be crossed by a complete asshole. I don’t have a problem with people making such comparisons, when Katie Holmes’ tits are described as the opposite of the holocaust it was cool and what Jemele did is cheap, in poor taste for an ESPN writer but the Celtics fans, especially the ones that call Boston their home are the ones who are offending me right now.

Everyone is upset in Boston, popular fan site Red’s Army is calling for her to be fired and wbztv.com posted some fan responses yesterday :

“We’re not talking about war; we’re talking about basketball,” one fan outside the Garden said. “How can you compare Hitler to a basketball game?”

“I don’t think you can say Hitler is a victim no matter what the circumstance is. That’s over the top,” another fan said.

These responses sicken me, Celtics fans are as fucking soft as the Celtics’ performance in the 4th quarter of Game 5. Boston Massachusetts is a city that was pissed off that a Holocaust Memorial was being constructed downtown too close to whatever the fucking Bank World Dunkin Donut Garden Center was called that week and too close to the Italian district, the North End. How dare they make us remember Holocaust victims while we’re staring at a statue of Paul Revere en route to a Celtics game (who the fuck went to Celtics games in 1995) belly stuffed full of carbs from the North End. This is a city built on racism, where Smitty O’Houlahan can blame anything he wants on a “nigger” and cops will turn the other red alcoholic cheek. Some area Jews didn’t even want the memorial in Boston because they felt it wasn’t an appropriate location. Downtown Boston is so fat and white that Jewish people actually felt bad breaking up that vibration

So now the poor fans are pissed off and are calling for the head of Jemele Hill the latest goat. It probably helps that she’s black as it’s easier for the city to rally against her. There is a bigger task at hand for the Celtics and their fans and that’s winning a Championship not whining about bad journalism and cheap shot comparisons.

Oh yeah, the Celtics fan side of myself would like to get a jab in though because that side of me is petty, Jemele your gummy grin and bulbous features are as shocking and offensive to me on this Tuesday afternoon as your attempts at journalism. Leave the vulgarity and cheap shot comparisons to bloggers, it’s all we have, you get the pay check, the paid appearances and fanfare, we just want to have exclusivity on swearing and Hitler comparisons if that’s cool with your fat ugly ass. Thanks.

TAGS: Boston, Celtics, ESPN, Hitler, Jemele Hill

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Big Ticket Home


Monday, June 16, 2008 - 9:28 am (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

KG misses crucial fourth qtr game-tying free throws after C’s stage another big comeback, Paul Pierce scores 38, Kobe makes clutch steal and dunk to force a game 6 in Boston, series 3-2…

Paul Pierce showed once again why he’s the most underrated player in the league. He was the game’s top scorer and still had 8 assists. He guarded Kobe for over three quarters with efficiency, but was taken off him when he got a fifth foul with about 7 minutes to go. Overall, the game was exciting from the second quarter on, when the Celts made a 19-point comeback. But without a win it’s hard to get too pumped up with sports exuberance. See you Tuesday.

TAGS: Basketball, Boston, Celtics, free, Kobe, Sports

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Celtic Lore


Saturday, June 14, 2008 - 12:32 pm (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

Pierce drives on Jason Kidd in 2002 playoffs comeback. Pats parade—Green version next week?

The Celtics shocked the world Thursday, staging a record 20-pt comeback against a Lakers team that hadn’t lost a home game in the playoffs. Taking a 3-1 lead, the C’s are poised to win their record 17th title, Boston’s first in 22 years. Two stories today focus on Celtic legend.

The Boston Globe looks back to 2002, when the Celtics staged a similar record playoff comeback against the New Jersry Nets. I hated Jason Kidd back then. We made shirts that said “Wifebeater” over his number. His wife, Jumama or something, was annoying at the games, and Kidd had been arrested for slapping her around. Ever the gentleman, Bob Ryan said on ESPN that Jumama deserved to get hit, forever losing his national pulpit. The shirt sold huge for years. Good ole Antoine Walker comes off like a champ in this story:

But the origins of the comeback might go back even further, to a May 25, 2002, playoff game, when the Celtics overcame a 21-point fourth-quarter deficit to defeat the New Jersey Nets, 94-90.

“For me, it was deja vu all over again, watching the game [Thursday] night,” said former Celtics guard Kenny Anderson, who is in Los Angeles for a promotional event. “Paul Pierce was the only guy who played in both games, and I knew he was sitting in the huddle saying all the things we said. “He had been in that situation before and he pretty much knew what could be done.”

The Celtics entered Game 3 of the ‘02 Eastern Conference finals tied with the Nets. And the Nets led by 26 points in the second half, but were outscored, 41-16, in the final quarter. The Garden crowd had been booing in the third quarter, but ended up cheering on the Celtics in a chaotic final quarter. At the time, the Celtics said they were motivated by an inspirational speech from Antoine Walker.

“[Walker said] no matter what happens in this fourth quarter, win or lose, we’re just going to go down fighting,” Pierce said after that game. “We’re not going to get embarrassed tonight.” Pierce had been in a shooting slump, connecting on 5 of 34 shots in the series, then scored 19 points in the final quarter.

“Antoine was so positive in timeouts,” former Celtics coach Jim O’Brien said. “He was saying to Paul, ‘You just take over this damn game. You just start carrying us. Attack, attack, attack.’ ”

A Rodney Rogers foul shot with 3:55 remaining started the Celtics’ decisive 13-2 run, Pierce’s free throws giving the Celtics a 91-90 lead with 46 seconds to go. Then Anderson broke in for a layup off a Kerry Kittles turnover to make it 93-90. Walker hit a free throw to complete the scoring.

Before Pierce’s free throws, the Celtics had led for a total of 13 seconds, on Eric Williams’s foul shot in the opening minute of play. After the game, Celtic players embraced Pierce near center court, and when Pierce broke free, he jumped on the scorer’s table and gestured to the crowd.

O’Brien, normally undemonstrative, got caught up in the moment, pumping his fist toward the fans as he went to the locker room.

The NYT, meanwhile, writes about when The Big Three first met coach Doc Rivers and he took them in Duck Boats along the championship parade route. Very cool:

Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce and Ray Allen had just become teammates last summer when they were ushered onto one of Boston’s famous duck boats and taken on a tour by Celtics Coach Doc Rivers.

It was a move ripped straight from the Phil Jackson coaching manual — a team-building exercise wrapped in a whimsical diversion. Rivers showed his three superstar players the parade route used by the Patriots and the Red Sox, preaching sacrifice and team defense along the way.

That poetic moment may soon be enshrined in franchise lore, next to tales of Red Auerbach’s cigars, Larry Bird’s twirling towel and, most certainly, Thursday night’s stunning comeback victory over Jackson and the Los Angeles Lakers.

The Celtics hold a 3-1 lead in the N.B.A. finals after wiping out a 24-point deficit in Game 4. On Sunday night, they are poised to claim the franchise’s first championship since 1986.

So Rivers was asked to retell the story of three All-Stars, one coach with a team-first sermon and one amphibious vehicle.

“I just thought it was important that they saw the route,” Rivers said Friday of the duck-boat tour. “Paul knew about it. Paul has been in Boston for so long. But Kevin and Ray, I think they thought we were going on a historic trip of Boston. I don’t think they really got it at first until we explained to them what we were doing.”

TAGS: attack, Basketball, Boston, Celtics, ESPN, free, Kevin Garnett, Lakers, Race, Red Sox, Sports, war

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Wayne’s Week


Friday, June 13, 2008 - 12:08 pm (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

…nee, it’s Wayne’s world!

Weezy shocks world! En route to a million sold in first week, Tha Carter 3 shatters industry estimates, proves there’s no such thing as over-exposure. Where’s the Rolling Stone cover? Meet 08’s biggest artist…

Wayne jams with Baby on ‘Leather So Soft” at Beacon Theater summer 07. Rolling Stone dropped the ball and had The Eagles on the cover this week, so here’s a sweet XXL cover…  

A year ago, if someone told me that in 365 days a black guy would have the Democratic nomination, the Celtics would be one win from a championship, and Lil Wayne would sell a million records in the first week and have the number 1 song in the country—about getting blow jobs nonetheless—I’d have laughed. But it’s all true. America’s not so bad. Ha…

I’ve been following New Orelans’ Cash Money Millionaires for a decade (Baller Blockin’ is my favorite movie after Citizen Kane). Ever since Juvenile’s “Ha” brought “bounce” music mainstream, Cash Money’s been my shiite, and this is by far the highest they’ve gone. Lil Wayne is a bonafide pop megastar! Let’s chart the rise and rise of Lil Wanye…

Flashback: June 22nd, 2007, Lil Wayne’s first-ever New York performance. Sold out. The Beacon Theater, a tri-deck Art Deco jewel, is packed with 3500 fans. It’s 10pm, and Wayne’s two hours late. No one thinks he’s going to show—even DJ Kahled, who came up from Miami with Wayne.

Twenty more minutes pass. The lights go down. Adolescent female screams.  Wayne bounds onstage in a blinged out RUN DMC shirt, dreadlocks flopping. “Yalls motherf*cking po-lice almost didn’t let me in the building,” Wayne’s first words, sounding stressed. “I love ya’ll. But fuck ya’ll police.”

(more…)

TAGS: A Milli, Celtics, Drugs, free, kids, Lil Wayne, Movie, Music, New York, NPR, nypd, political, Review, Shiite, Summer Jam, Tha Carter 3, Video, war, Weezy, White People, youtube

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Wicked Pissah Kobe


Friday, June 13, 2008 - 10:22 am (EST)
By Anthony Pappalardo

Considering that people want to read about piss and I need a niche, I accept the role of pissmaster and will provide you with a weekly Piss Report. This week we’ll focus on Kobe Bryant and his post-game rant last night after the Lakers failed to hold a 24 point lead :

Whine about it tonight, a lot of wine, a lot of beer, a couple shots, maybe like 20 of them, digest it, get back to work tomorrow. Nothing you can do. Nothing. We just wet the bed. A nice big one, too, one of the ones you can’t put a towel over. It was terrible. Nothing you can do about it. They played great in the third quarter, we played like crap. They pulled out a great win, now it’s time to move on to the next one, period.

That’s correct, Kobe is a pisser. There’s a lot going on here let’s start with the lethal mix of wine, beer and shots. It’s safe to say that Kobe might have benefited from a little time in College learning how to drink. It’s no wonder he’s pissing the bed and getting accused of rape. I’ve seen humans do incredible things after two or three shots, things they didn’t remember but won’t forget because it was witnessed and become urban legend. A fraction of the Kobe equation caused some dudes I know to try to cut a tree down (bad call having a saw in your whip) only to pass out and have a cop wake them up the next morning asking why they were sleeping in a parking lot with a saw while a Honda Civic bisected by a tree was illuminated by the rising sun in the background.

I’m saying there’s no way Vanessa Bryant doesn’t wake up to a Laker Golden Shower thanks to Kobe’s binge drinking, she probably got drenched last night.

Make it rain Kobe!

TAGS: Celtics, Kobe, Lakers

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History! Ray Allen Leads Celtics to Greatest Finals Comeback Eva


Friday, June 13, 2008 - 9:23 am (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

Pierce scores 19 and guards Kobe in second half, C’s mount 21-3 run to end 3rd qtr, most exciting 4th qtr of my life—Posey, House hit big shots and Ray Allen gets numbers 1 and 3 on Sportscenter’s Top Ten, C’s trailed by 18 at the half, “Is this for real?” and “Wow” most texted phrases across C’s nation…

Superstars: Ray-Ray cuts like a samurai sword through Laker butter; The Truth vs Kobe 2nd half match-up…

All haters forever hold your peace. The 2008 Boston Celtics are better than the LA Lakers. The end. Taking a 3-1 series lead, the C’s have Boston on a natural green high. Break out your parading wear, folks, because next week the Duck Boats should be tooting through town, spewing confetti on the green masses, trophy raised high. 

Usually I’d go to Bob Ryan or Dan Shaugnessy for the game’s money quote, but their hyperbolic myth-makery can’t compete with Globe beat writer Mark Spears’ cold, hard facts:   

The Celtics overcame a 24-point deficit en route to a stunning 97-91 victory over the Lakers in Game 4 last night at Staples Center. Boston owns a 3-1 lead in the best-of-seven series with Game 5 here Sunday. The Celtics can win their first title since 1986 with one more victory.

So who was the player of the game? In the 4th quarter, Ray Allen morphed into a human highlight reel, driving to hit some gorgeous lay-ups. But it was The Truth who saved the day. At halftime, with no fouls, PP told C’s coach Doc Rivers to put him on Kobe Bryant, the league MVP, and one of the best 4th quarter scorers ever. And it worked.

After the victory, Pierce stormed the tunnel at the Staples Center, arms raised, shouting, “That’s how you do it!”

In the postgame press conference, Kobe was asked how you deal with such a loss. “Whine a lot,” he answered. “Drink a lot of beer. Do a few shots. Do 20 shots.” I usually hate Kobe’s existence, but that was a perfect answer.

How many Globe covers can The Truth handle (this is at least the sixth in a month)?

 

TAGS: Basketball, beer, Boston, Boston Celtics, Celtics, Kobe, Kobe Bryant, Lakers, Sports

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Celts Up 2-0, Pierce Scores 28, Powe Gets Chief-y


Monday, June 9, 2008 - 12:10 pm (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

The Boston Celtics got cocky last night and almost blew a 24-pt lead in the fourth quarter against the overrated, Kobe Byant-led LA Lakers, but held on to win 108-102. And as the cliche goes, a win is a win. The NBA Finals moves to Los Angeles for three games starting Tuesday.

Right, Pierce clebrates.

The player of the game came off the bench. Leon Powe, whose name I’d maybe said twice in my life, scored 21 points in 15 minutes during the third quarter. Rocking the 0 jersey to Robert “Chief” Parish’s 00, Powe entered Celtic lore via Bob Ryan’s nick-name machine:

Leon Powe is an X-factor for the Boston Celtics. That’s when he’s even given a chance to be the “X.” In the 10 games leading up to the NBA Finals, the 6-foot-8-inch kid from Cal played a total of 36 minutes, including three DNPs.

X-Man Slams

Complaints? I like all the assists, but Rondo needs to find his shot. And the C’s can’t get cocky when up—it’s the Finals!

Vegas/Sports Writers Were Wrong
I’ve been saying the Lakers and the entire Western Conference is overrated for some time. When the Celtics played any West team this year in a game of consenquence (ie, a loss the game before, a tough road test, a loss to said team in a previous match-up, a player from opposing team’s pre-game shit-talk), they won. Every time. They beat San Antonio, New Orleans, Utah, whoever. Vegas odds makers were not paying attention to the fluidity of the Celts’ season, where they’d win anytime the pressure came down. That’s called “intangibles” in Yankee-speak, which line-makers can’t quantify.

And while KG’s gamer attitude was written about in every sports outlet, The Truth factor was overlooked. That’s been the story of our boy Paul Pierce’s career. His game is all awkward elbows and crooked feet, but the guy is as good as they come, especially in big games. (More inatgibility.) In a few weeks, when Pierce is kissing the trophy while parading in front of a million Boston fans, after leading Sports Center for 12th time of the month, the rest of America will understand The Truth.

Powe’s Mentor, Robert “Chief” Parish, pothead. Papi at the game.

TAGS: A Milli, Basketball, Boston, Boston Celtics, Celtics, Kobe, Lakers, NBA Finals, paris, Slam, Sports, war

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Ana Ivanovic: The New #1


Sunday, June 8, 2008 - 3:28 am (EST)
By Hassan Chop

Forget Celtics-Lakers…and meet Ana Ivanovic, who became the world’s number one female tennis player by winning her semifinal match at the French Open, and followed that up by winning the final yesterday against 22-year old Dinara Safina (Marat’s sister) to capture her first grand slam ever. Congrats to Ana…it’s surely the first of many grand slams to come for the new number one.

 

TAGS: Celtics, Lakers, Slam

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1 Down, 3 Wins to 17


Friday, June 6, 2008 - 2:32 pm (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

Last night, the Boston Celtics continued their march to a record 17th NBA championship, beating the Lakers 98-88.

All Boston has: Sports (Paul Pierce) and politics (Sen John Kerry and Gov Deval Patrick) collide at the Garden.

Here’s some “Provocative Opinion”: The Lakers are b*tches. Too bad I missed all of last night’s game (due to a certain neighbor’s 30th b-day, where said celebrant’s mother was wasted at a nightclub dancing to “La Bamba” at 3am). Doesn’t matter though, I can read a box score and the Celts are up 1-0 against an overrated LA squad. Overall, I thought the West was weaker this year than people thought. Now we’ll see if the C’s can Sox the Lakers in four straight. I don’t want another drama series—Atl, Clevo, Det were too stressful.

Paul Pierce. What more can be said? The guy hurts his knee and still comes out and nails two threes. Love it!

You can’t be serious. This honky ass Deadhead is guarding The Truth? Ha! Off the court, PP is a Piru Blood gangster. Luke Walton wears tie-dye.

Photo of the game (Reuters):

TAGS: Basketball, Boston, Boston Celtics, Celtics, drama, HBO, Lakers, Politics, Sports, wasted

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Fuck “Beat LA”


Sunday, June 1, 2008 - 12:08 pm (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

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I’m all for derogatory sports slogans, but “Beat LA” doesn’t cut it. That’s the NBA and media-safe version of “Lakers Suck, Kobe Swallows and Sperm Swaps GasSHolE who then Snowballs Odom.”

As a Boston Celtics fan, I’m calling on all my fellow asshole sports fans to boycott “Beat LA” in favor of something more offensive. Unlike LA, who had a three-peat with Shaq earlier this decade, this is our first trip to the finals in two decades. Or, fuck these fake-ass LA fans who go to games in sunglasses to stare at the “famous.” Entourage sucks.

As the old punk album states, This is Boston Not LA. In Boston people are cynical assholes. Life sucks. We shiver through winter and sweat through summer. We have two things going for us: sports and the Kennedys (and now Teddy’s on his deathbed). We don’t wear purple, ever. In fact, if you wear purple to a bar in Boston you will get your ass kicked—and not because you’re a Lakers fan but because purple is, in Boston speak, “foahr faaags.” Boston fans are racist, sexist, and any other “ist.” So act like it—don’t just chant “Beat LA.”

I’m in a rush, but let’s throw a few anti-Lakers slogans out there. How about “Rape Kobe” or “Kobe=Rapist”? Remember, this year’s NBA MVP was accused of rape in Colorado a few years ago. Let’s not let him forget it, ok? Another good target is Phil Jackson. He’s a new age dickhead. We hate him his Zen pussy shit…

TAGS: Boston, Boston Celtics, Celtics, Colorado, Kobe, Lakers, NBA MVP, Sports

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“Wanna bring the 80’s back, thats ok with me thats where they made me at” - Jay-Z


Saturday, May 31, 2008 - 11:19 am (EST)
By Geoff Kenyon

Growing up in New England in the 80’s the biggest rivalry in sports was not Red Sox Yankees, as it is today. It was Lakers Celtics, and maybe even more so Bird Magic. One of my favorite stories from that period, is their first meeting in the NBA Finals in 1984. The Celtics were down 2 games to 1 and had just been humiliated by a score of 137-104. During the post game Bird made the following comments:

“We just played like a bunch of women tonight (sorry Hillary). You know we got some great players on this team, but we don’t have the players with the heart some time that we need.”

The next game Kevin McHale clotheslined Kurt Rambis and the rest is history. Celtics went on to win 4 -3.

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I would be lying if I didn’t say that my love affair with the Celtics changed after the retirement of Bird and the death of Reggie Lewis. But today, the Celtics are back, and after all these years it is fitting that the Lakers are the team they must go through in order to hang banner 17.

From Dan Shaughnessy of the Boston Globe

Time to dust off the old Larry Bird/Magic Johnson posters. Thursday night on Causeway Street, the Celtics will host the same franchise they faced when they last advanced this far in 1987 - the Los Angeles Lakers. It’ll be the 11th Finals matchup between the Celtics and Lakers.

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(Why not dust off a pic of my favorite Sega Genesis game as well)

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TAGS: Basketball, Boston, Celtics, Hillary, Jay, Lakers, NBA Finals, Red Sox, Sports, Yankees, youtube

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Lakers Suck


Saturday, May 31, 2008 - 10:13 am (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

Pierce scores 27 in Game 6, leads Celts to finals against LA…
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“I can write a whole book on my emotions right now,” Paul Pierce said in the post-game press conference. After 10 years in Celtic green, Pierce, born and raised in LA, is heading home to play the Lakers in the finals. Dan Shaughnessy in the Globe:

Time to dust off the old Larry Bird/Magic Johnson posters. Thursday night on Causeway Street, the Celtics will host the same franchise they faced when they last advanced this far in 1987 - the Los Angeles Lakers. It’ll be the 11th Finals matchup between the Celtics and Lakers.

“It means everything to Boston fans,” said Pierce. “That’s pretty much what got me started watching basketball, growing up in Los Angeles, watching the Celtics and Lakers . . . I’m going back home to play against the team I grew up watching and it’s a dream come true, man, just thinking about it. I think that rivalry pretty much revolutionized the game of basketball and now I’m part of it.”

The NBA is happy, I’m sure. And I can’t wait…
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TAGS: Basketball, Boston, Celtics, Lakers, Sports

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