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Au Revoir and RNC


Tuesday, September 9, 2008 - 3:09 pm (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

Hey all. This is my last post here at Medicine. I had a great time writing about dumb shit for the past 8 or so months. Thanks to John for giving me such a great experience in cyberspace.

I started a new site with Inigo, Jeff N, and a few others called Shiite Happens. (Below is the first post.) For now, it will be a political, arts, and culture blog with a young-ish voice, much like Medicine, but with more original video content. We’ll have a redesign and hopefully our own url soon. Please ignore the generic design for now. There won’t be any ads or commercial aspect and it will operate as a cooperative. We’re looking for writers, so give me a shout at wormetheperm {at} hotmail(.)com if you’d like to contribute.

Anyway, I’ve been out in Denver and Minneapolis for the Conventions with Inigo Gilmore, a filmmaker friend. And tomorrow we’re going moose hunting in Alaska. Despite our being robbed twice over the past two weeks, a video diary of the RNC was still able to be cut for Britain’s Channel 4. Note the shot of Inigo getting shot at by police (with rubber bullets of course) during a riot in St Paul.

 

Sarah Palin and the Re-Rise of the Republicans: An RNC Diary

1
I’m in Minneapolis, having arrived from Denver on Sunday night. With me: Inigo Gilmore, a British journalist and filmmaker who recently relocated to New York after a year’s stint in Bangkok for Channel 4 UK. That morning, we’d awoken to find our rented SUV had been broken in to, and someone had stolen the tapes from Obama’s stadium coronation. The video and still cameras were safe, but everything else—chargers, bags, tripod, batteries—gone.

So our arrival at the Republican Convention came without glory. Luckily we were staying at a nice loft in downtown St. Paul, just blocks from the Xcel Center. To forget about our Denver loss, we trekked across St. Paul’s quaint downtown looking for a bar. It’s 10m. The bars, which normally close at 2am, are supposedly open until 4am all week, but few people are out.

“The thing about St Paul is that it’s only a few hundred thousand people,” says the local who’s guiding us. “It may be the smallest city to ever hold a national Convention.”

We stop at a dive-y bar on 7th Ave, St Paul’s pedestrian mall. Neon beer signs dangle on the windows. Dart boards and pool tables are visible inside. Sitting outside, we realize 20 or so Texas delegates surround us. Clustered around two pitcher strewn tables, the Texans meet every cliche: loud, foul mouthed, cross bearing, light beer loving, and cigar chomping. They wear orthopedic shoes, unrevealing dresses, snakeskin, denim…

Our next stop was another bar filled with boozing Texas delegates. Third stop: booze, Texans. Later, we even stumble on a hotel with a sign reading, “WELCOME TEXAS DELEGATION! Crowne Plaza Hotel…”

Aside from cowboy hats and generic clothing, what else did these Texans have in common? A shockingly passionate love for Ron Paul and his post-libetarianism. Few of the Texans we meet even like John McCain.

“We support McCain because we are Republicans,” one says. “But Ron Paul is beyond partisian politics.” Then comes a detailed Paul “Revolution”-ary spiel, which I block out. Yet as Convention eve came to a close, the Paul insurgency made clear that this year’s GOP was indeed a fractured party.

2
Monday. The Twin Cities got hit by twin bombshells. First, due to Hurricane Gustav, day one of the Convention was canceled, meaning no President Bush. Second, Sarah Palin, the dark horse Alaskan Governor McCain chose for VP, has a 17-year-old pregnant daughter. Some Convention so far, eh GOP? No opening night and so much for the whole family values and no sex before marriage thing.

Around noon we hear about a anti-war protest. Venturing from the loft, on 4th Street, up a block or two, we quickly realize this is no mere protest. On a street corner stood fifty plus cops in full riot gear—helmets, bulging pads, gas masks, sticks and tazers at the ready. The police surround about twenty black-clad, masked anarchists. The anarchos are backed against a building and all have their hands up, but they yell to the few onlookers and journalists on hand.

“We did nothing!” one kid in googles yells.

“These are our streets!” they chant.

A few blocks away we spot a beat-up blue Volvo blocking a major intersection connecting St Paul to the highway that leads to Minneapolis. About two dozen cops cordon the area. Inside the car I see a black clad youth chained to the steering wheel. A big yellow forklift arrives. I hear a buzzsaw. The cops are cutting the anarchist out of the car. Once he’s been removed and arrested, the forklift removes the car and dumps it on a grass lot.

Pushing further downtown we cross paths with about two hundred “direct action” folks. They even have a trance/techno soundtrack (c/o a red wagon with a stereo and “Funk the War” signs). But the mostly black wearing bandana crew seem confused as to where they’re headed.

“C’mon, this way,” yells one.

“No, this way,” shouts another, who eventually wins out.

But the confusion ends when it comes to the marchers’ intent. These folks want nothing short of destruction of the capatilist state. I’ve witnessed a few dozen riots in my day—mostly sports related—but I’ve never seen such a long, uncontested orgy of smashed windows, popped tires, trash can flipping, road blocking, and wreckage. Inigo captures a long shot of people running up the road by a big Macy’s, where a black woman sits on a bench smiling, Macy bags at her feet. Just then, two anarchists charge from behind with a metal grate. It takes a few tries, but they smash the windows.
(more…)

TAGS: 2000, 2004, Amy Goodman, beer, BOOKS, Bush, Campaign, Congress, contest, Denver, dog, Fox News, free, GOP, Gustav, Hillary, iPod, Iraq, John McCain, kids, mccain, Music, New York, New York Times, NPR, nypd, obama, political, Politics, Pregnant, Race, Rap, Republicans, RNC, Ron Paul, Sarah Palin, Shiite, Soundtrack, spin, Sports, Texas, the Replacements, Trade, Video, war, williamsburg, youtube

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I Got It


Monday, August 25, 2008 - 3:59 pm (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

This is music. “I ain’t no god damned son of a bitch,” says Matt Caplicki, who took this cellphone photo of Yo La and friends doing the Misfits’ “Where Eagles Dare.”

Yo La Tengo are the rare live band that, on any given day, can totally suck or be better than Zeppelin at the Garden 75. Yesterday, at the last free show ever at McCarren Pool in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, the trio made Page, Plant, and co look like pansies.

Playing a sun-soaked late afternoon set before 6000 nostalgic drunkards, YLT meandered through a 2-hour career spanning set, with styles careening across sonic oceans. In what was undoubtedly the best set any band ever played at this venue, the band seamlessly moved from free jazz to hardcore, ambient post-rock to solo-ed out fuzz jams, minimalist maraca and organ soul to ye olde style rock n roll. By the time they welcomed the opening band onstage for a cover of the Misfits’ “Where Eagles Dare,” my ears had heard more variety than a Kim’s Video clerk’s iPod shuffle. And YLT’s just one band—with only three people! Mind numbing. 

Did I mention YLT are the masters of site specific setlist-free shows? Example: at about 6:40pm an August sun blindingly spiked the stage. So Yo La played their song “Summer Sun.” I’ll stop…It was great. The end.

RIP pool shows (though I must admit I only attended one before this—so “best show ever” would be hyperbolic had everyone I spoke to not said so). Mayor Bloomberg has announced plans to return the Bob Moses-built pool to it’s former self (a swimming pool), at a cost of a lot of millions of tax dollars. But smart money says the city will have no money come next year. Expect the pool to rock again next summer…  

TAGS: Brooklyn, drunk, free, iPod, Music, Video, williamsburg

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Beatrice By Bus: The Chelsea Atlantic City Sans Metaphor


Tuesday, August 5, 2008 - 11:15 am (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

CORRECTION: Nicole Brydson wrote in an email that neither John Ford nor his brother Juan ever lived with her.  Rather the Ford bros just slept on her floor. Fordsy!!! Also, I spelled Nicole’s name wrong and she’s from NYC not the Hamptons. Yes, I’m retarded.

Left, Paul Sevigny and Vegas being filmed by Inigo Gilmore on the front steps on The Chelsea Hotel, AC. Right, drink in hand…Pics by Lindsay Boisvert.

You’ve been invited to a “soft-opening” party by the owners of the Beatrice Inn for their new venture, The Chelsea Hotel in Atlantic City. A bus to AC is supposed to leave from the corner of Jane St and 8th Ave at 7pm. It’s a Friday, 25 July. You were told there were only 10 seats for your friends, but by 7:30pm you realize there are 60 seats on the (pink) bus, most empty. You call everyone you’ve ever met, ever. You get the bus driver high as he wheels around the city picking up everyone you ever met, ever. 

8:30pm. The bus leaves with thirty or so people, including two middle-age Turkish guys, a half-dozen Euro females (a Slovene, an Austrian, two Italianos, two Brits), a black chick w/ fake tits and Ivy League degree, etc. A lot of laws are being violated (mostly by your lawyer). A makeshift bar, two seats covered in ice, is stocked with every kind of booze. There’s a British Elvis impersonator/television correspondent filming everything. You don’t care because you know you get to keep the tapes.

You realize by 9pm that this is the best bus you’ve ever been on, ever. That’s due to the whos and whats of the party. See, the Beatrice Inn is New York’s sole “dive-club.” In less than two years it has branded an unparalleled party ethos—one that combines everything downtown that’s not lame or too trashy with pure excess. It translates quite well to a bus party. 

Loud indie and rap music via iPod doc spark a dance party. People yell, hug, scream, sing songs, make-out, do drugs, smoke hash and weed, all the good stuff—and you’re still on the bus. You love that the Beatrice party ethic isn’t irony based like the BK/LES scenes, nor is it status based like the Meatpacking or Chelsea (how else do you explain your loser-ass riding on this bus). 

Upon arrival you’re greeted by Paul Sevigny, the DJ, ex-promoter, Beatrice Inn owner, A.R.E. Weapons band member, and former Club Anthrax-goer who is originally from Darien, CT. He wears an old, ripped navy blue sweater with light tan pants. He walks your whole party into the lobby. The all white modernist space is furnsihed with purple couches and phallic lamps and jammed with a weird mix of Philly-area middle age tourists and downtown New Yorkers sipping stiff drinks from red plastic cups.

“The party is in the penthouse,” Sevigny says. “Sign up for rooms here. And thanks for coming.”

Sevigny’s sister is Chloe, the actress, and that surely helped his rise. But you can’t deny the brilliant Britpop/punk/post-punk/downtown-style Paul perfected in the late 90s and early 2000s. The Sevigny style wasn’t wigger-y and druggy like Supreme/Vice, the era’s other dominant downtown vibe. It was just cool and fun. But like Supreme and Vice, Sevigny has proven one of NYC’s most durable brands. Take when you recently interviewed at a national gossip magazine, and the first question they asked you was if you had access to Beatrice. “That’s the only club we really care about,” the weekly’s news editor said. “Nowhere else gets the celebs acting as wasted and slutty.” Not wanting to sell people out for money, you never took the gig, but Beatrice certainly is unique in the celebs-gone-wild respect. For example, Heath Ledger’s last stop on Earth was Beatrice. 

You remember going to Spa Wednesdays, an early 2000s party Sevingy hosted on 13th St in Union Sq. (Spa’s the club Vince Vaugh and Jon Faverau went to with Diddy in the movie Made.) You remember the all-white side-room, where Razzle the dreaded HC kid did the Afro-beat party. And the time Smelly Tom bought Veuve bottles for the now-bargain price of, like, $100 per bottle. All the Brazilian girls. “Michael James” as the door name. Stone Roses into James into Sex Pistols… 

Penthouse beer filled tub. On the bus.
(more…)

TAGS: beer, Boston, Brooklyn, Drugs, iPod, kids, Las Vegas, Movie, Music, NATO, New York, NSA, paris, Pirates, war, wasted, williamsburg, Yankees

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1-2-3-4 Your Kids Are a Fucking Bore


Wednesday, July 16, 2008 - 11:26 am (EST)
By Anthony Pappalardo
YouTube Preview Image

Aww how cute Ms. Feist was on Sesame Street to share her death chant with all the earth’s annoying little children. The Pixar loving little shits that ruin my brunch by spazzing around and throwing shit while their passive aggro parents have a defeated look on their faces and just sigh. Said parents might even mumble and inaudible “Don’t do that Belle” or “Sebastian please sit down” but the indie-babies / children don’t give a fuck, from the moment they dawned a Motorhead onesie they knew they had the upperhand.

I don’t like children, specifically your children. The ones that crash into me while I’m on a mission to buy alcohol, records or clothes. The ones wizzing by with a cocky smirk spinning the wheels of their fucking Heelys. The one’s who have parents that just pretend you aren’t there rather than reprimanding their children or apologizing for them.

If you have a child and make me interact with it I’ll be polite. I might even enjoy it in small does but if I am trying to go about my adult or semi-adult life and have to be around throngs of children after I’ve tried so hard to hide from them (I can count the minutes I’ve spent in Park Slope BKLYN) I am going to start taking action. The cute stories and pictures you share with me about your child are actually amusing, I like cute things but they have a shelf life. My cell phone is actually a digital tribute to the wacky hi-jinx my cat Raleigh gets into. He sleeps on top of the oven, he poses for pictures, has a piercing meow which is captured on video and he’s cute. The difference is that since he’s a cat it’s all he’ll ever do. When he does something remotely smart it’s always entertaining because he’s a fucking cat, he’s stupid as shit, he’s not going to grow up, learn how to talk and become a politician. I don’t need to see every shitty thing your sucky kid does because at some point you’ll hate that kid and not want to show me shit about them. You aren’t going to show me a picture of the bong in their dorm or the chick they had Bud Light Sex with but I will never tire of my cat, he’s a perpetual kitten. He’ll be talking to me in Siamese when you’re bailing Britt out of jail for possession.

Your children are cute and funny but they don’t need to be little versions of you. They don’t need to wear Ramones shirts, your babies and little adults don’t even like the fucking Ramones. If they are such Ramones fans can they even name the members, hint they are on the fucking shirt…whoops they can’t read. They are reacting to noise, they would do the fucking baby dance (see video then continue) to Skrewdriver, GG Allin or Raffi and they should be doing it to Raffi.

Children shouldn’t be cool. The only tattooed arms pushing strollers should be owned by Bikers not Graphic Designers. They should be breaking shit in the woods not in a hipster park where dudes have hangovers or just shot Ron. They should be named after Michael Jordan not Conor Oberst, they should be wearing Sponge Bob the Builder gear not Baby BAPE and BABY/DC shirts. If you try to make your children cool you have a big surprise coming. These kids are used to not being scolded, not respecting anything and having semi-business hippie post-hipster green parents. Bingo dipshit, picture American Psycho crossed with Alex P Keaton on the best cocaine money can buy and that is who is going to push you around in a carriage, I mean wheelchair long after your Wilco CDRs have stopped spinning.

Lastly, if you’re going to bring your child to a musical event cover his or her fucking ears. There are ear plugs made specifically for your shitty kid. It sucks watching your kid baby mosh to music but at least ensure they won’t have hearing loss before they can tie their shoes. Maybe these kids don’t listen because your dumb ass made them deaf with a steady diet of Arcade Fire while you changed their shitty diapers and loud free outdoor concerts. If you are somewhere that the baby mosh/dance is happening you have to access the situation quickly and react.

Are you in the wrong place or is the baby in the wrong place?

Example  - Baby spotted dancing at My Morning Jacket show while you and your bud pull out a device used for smoking marijuana.

Verdict : What did you expect you fucking indie hippie? Go somewhere away from the baby get high and shame on you for being at the concert in the first place you deserve to be there. Your second option is to leave the venue and leave that life behind, in this case you are getting your head right and I owe you a beer.

Example - Baby doing the baby mosh in a club to High on Fire with Nigel Hipster Parents.

Verdict : You are legally* allowed to put a cigarette out on the father’s forehead and douse the wound out with PBR. You should get security and have the baby taken into child custody. High on Fire are boring and not good anymore but you did nothing wrong other than liking Sleep and trying to pretend HOF are “pretty damn good!”.

*This is only legal by my rules which the United States doesn’t recognize as actual law.

TAGS: Babies, Hipster, iPod

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the Ipod Police… Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement (ACTA)


Thursday, May 29, 2008 - 12:22 pm (EST)
By John LaCroix

bailbond-handcuffs.jpg

When read that Chris Walla (the dude from Death Cab For Cutie) had his master hard drive containing an entire album of politically charged music taken from him by Homeland Security and that American laws allegedly allowed laptops to be copied, searched and seized in airports, I wondered when they’d get hip and launch a new platform to attack our liberties.

Canada, the United States and the EU are apparently joining up an international coalition to combat copyright infringment (and privacy) on a whole new level. Apparently they search your ipod or laptop in customs, make a quick judgment as to whether or not your stuff looks stolen and then they can destroy or confiscate your ipod or laptop. I’m so glad my data (my lifeblood) is in the hands of a zitty, barely trained TSA officer.

From The Vancouver Sun: 

The deal would create a international regulator that could turn border guards and other public security personnel into copyright police. The security officials would be charged with checking laptops, iPods and even cellular phones for content that “infringes” on copyright laws, such as ripped CDs and movies.

The guards would also be responsible for determining what is infringing content and what is not.

The agreement proposes any content that may have been copied from a DVD or digital video recorder would be open for scrutiny by officials - even if the content was copied legally.

Ask yourself, is this slippery slope only getting started? 

TAGS: attack, iPod, Movie, Music, political, Trade, Travel, Video

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Something good from…Canada.


Friday, May 23, 2008 - 10:49 am (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

outlander.jpgadamson_gil_cover.jpg
The US and Cannuck covers of The Outlander.

Last night I caught a reading by Canadian Gil Adamson. Her first novel, The Outlander, has just been published by Ecco. Adamson, in her 40s, is a Toronto-based writer and poet. Set in western Canada 1903, The Outlander’s protagonist is a 19-yr old girl on the run for murdering her husband. “It’s more a why-done-it than a who-done-it,” Adamson said before giving a short reading at McNally Robinson in Soho. The book was a hit in Canada and many compared it to Cormac McCarthy (though Adamson uses traditional punctuation). Check it out…

Here’s some of Adamson’s writing from a work in progress on her website:

Nicole had learned on previous bus trips that ignoring the no smoking signs, or refusing to stop smoking when asked, or fighting with the driver and with other passengers, even sneaking to the toilet cubicle to smoke–all of that was a losing battle. She couldn’t win by fighting and she couldn’t hide. So she didn’t smoke. The safest way, Justine said, was to throw the pack away before they got on the bus.

“I won’t smoke.” Nicole put her fingers up, good little boy scout.

“Yes you will.”

“No, really, I won’t. I prom—“ she glared at her sister. “Oh fuck, fine!” and she hurled the package in a garbage pail.

Three days in a bus seat. That’s what they had to look forward to. And she was only four hours in. Nicole nearly cried with boredom. But Justine slept like a baby, shifting and dreaming and lying across Nicole. Nicole fumbled automatically in her bag for cigarettes or anything that might help, but there was nothing.

“What did I fucking do to deserve . . .”

The woman across the way caught Nicole’s eye with a pitiless smile.

“Your girlfriend there sure can sleep.”

(more…)

TAGS: iPod, war

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Postwar Blues


Monday, March 17, 2008 - 9:35 am (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

Bad:
Greenspan warns of worst crisis since 1945.

Remember how we won WWII and ended up with like a third of the world’s wealth and global dominance? Then we won the Cold War and became the world’s first Hyperpower? At least victory in the century’s great conflicts helped make upward mobility less likely in the US, widening the gap between rich and poor to pre-FDR levels, and giving the rich the largest slice of American wealth since 1920. But capitalism gone wild was worth it because we can all have iPods and flat-screens and Britney news 24/7.

TAGS: economy, france, iPod, war

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Re-doing the Guardian’s Re-doing of the Best Of New York, chow


Monday, March 10, 2008 - 3:25 pm (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

Today, The Guardian goes through NY Mag’s “Best of” issue’s food sections and re-selects a top ten. Below, I’ve reselected their reselections.
mp1413waverly-restaurant-winter-posters.jpg
Waverly Restaurant.

1. Best fried chicken
They say: Blue Ribbon Sushi Bar and Grill (308 W 58th St, + 212-397-0404).
We say: Egg (135 N 5th St, Brooklyn, + 718-302-5151). As Peter Meehan, the New York Times restaurant critic rightly noted, “A good fried chicken is hard to find. Especially in New York City. But the fried chicken at Egg in Williamsburg, Brooklyn: it’s good.” Not only good. It’s great. Meehan is right because the fried chicken is made at Egg by Stephen Tanner, a man from Georgia whose mind is fried in the best way possible. Tanner was the genius behind the now-closed Pies n’ Thighs, a fried chicken cult favourite.

Me say: Kennedy Fried Chicken. Blue Ribbon rules. But if go there and eat fried chicken you’re wasting your money. Who besides Blue Ribbon offers bone marrow and escargot at 3am? (Try the raw bar at Blue Ribbon Soho’s non-sushi location. Eat the crawfish.) Egg is in Williamsburg. Eating fried chicken in Wiliamsburg is the munching equivilant of a mustache—aka way too ironic. Go to any Kennedy’s location with a bullet-proofed kitchen.

2. Best Wine Bar
They say: Gottino (52 Greenwich Ave, + 212-633-2590).
We say: Peasant Wine Bar (194 Elizabeth St, + 212-965-9511). Gottino is new and nice and has a marble bar. It oozes spanking new rusticity. Peasant Wine Bar, a converted cellar in NoLiTa, makes Gottino seem like a Disney ride. Peasant is cozy in an unforced way, has a solid menu (courtesy of Peasant, the upstairs restaurant), and a small but expertly chosen wine list.

Me say: Wine bars are for yuppies trying to act sophisticated and impress girls with their credit cards. Still, the Guardian is on to something in recommending Peasant. Almost. Peasant’s owners recenterly opened Bacaro on Division St at Canal St in Chinatown. Roughly translated, Bacaro is Italian for wine bar. Roughly located on the fringes of downtown gentrification, Bacaro’s basement is a grunge-y maze. It’s staffed by a crew who used to work at uber gay bars the Hole and the Cock. Where better to drink wine than amongst this art fart, drug dealer/doer crowd?

3. Best pizza
They say: Actually, NY mag has cleverly skirted the issue here by picking one for each borough. In Manhattan, they tap Una Pizza Napoletana (349 12th Street, + 212-477-9950).
We say: Agreed, Una Pizza Napoletana is good. But, if you must sample only one, check out Park Slope’s Franny’s (295 Flatbush Avenue, Park Slope, Brooklyn, + 718-230-0221). Whereas UPN offers the most ascetic of menus, at Franny’s, you can choose from a large and shifting selection of toppings. Also, without qualification, the crust on Franny’s Neopolitan pies is something approaching the ideal form of pizza crust.

Me say: John’s Pizza by the W 4th stop in the West Village is the slicer’s delight. But Pizza Gruppo on Ave B and 11th offers NY’s most unique pie—uber thin crust with strange, perfect cheese. Plus, Gruppo’s staff includes not only a competition eater (Eater X—world champion jalepino eater) but also the most relaxed mann on earth, Evan Mann, who handles day shifts, when you can score two slices and drink for $4.

The best pizza, however, is cooked by Gianni at Lil Frankie’s. When Fat Man Batali was opening his low-rent Babbo, Otto, he came in to Lil Frankie’s with notepads and a three-man team and literally stole Gianni’s recipe.

4. Best steak (not in a steak house)
They say: Park Avenue Winter (100 East 63rd Street at Park Avenue, + 212-644-1900), which must be a joke. Not that the steak there is “bad”, but…
We say: To call PAW the best when Momofuku Ssam Bar (207 2nd Ave, + 212-254-3500) is serving it’s rib eye only 40 blocks south defies logic and righteousness. The steak is hung for 28 days and feeds four hungry diners. OK, it costs $200 and must be ordered a day in advance, but it’s a compact mountain of flavourful meat, a communal experience, a primal bonding ceremony, a bloody success.

Me say: This category cancels itself out. Really, who wants to know best place to get a steak that’s not steakhouse? Like positing: Best Place to Pick Up a Turkey Haired Stripe Wearing Indie Chick On The Upper West Side…

5. Best dive bar
They say: Mars Bar (25 E 1st St, +212-473-9842).
We say: Sophie’s (507 E 5th St, + 212-228-5680). I mean a dive bar is a dive bar is a dive bar. The appeal is the same: cheap booze, no pretension, hopefully a toilet seat with a lid. Sophie’s has all three plus, it has picaresque East Village characters who seem to have walked out of the pages of Henry Roth’s Call It Sleep; a truly wonderful jukebox (everything
(everything from The Pogues to Gang of Four); and a wickedly competitive pool table.

Me say: It’s tough to beat Mars Bar—good call NY Mag. There’s been multiple abortions in Mars’ bathroom, and you can still score heroin and coke there during Junky Happy Hour, Sunday to Sunday from 1am-4:15am. Sophie’s is decent, but selling its jukebox as “everything from the Pogues,” Irish/London folk-punk, “to Gang of Four,” London post-punk, in a London newspaper is lame. Those are the two most jukeboxed bands in New York. Since both these dives are in the East Village, I’ll offer a few additional choices without literary references.

Best Dive Bar to Get Your Ass Kicked In: Manitoba’s. A hardcore punk bar on B and 7th, Doc Marten Skins (DMS) still hang there and will gladly steal your women and drugs after pummeling you. Just yell “Ezec’s a pussy!!!!” or “Freddy Madball can suck my ass!!!” or “Agnostic Front sucks!!!”

Best Soundtracked Dive: Music Box, on 13th and B. It’s got a high/low rock n roll vibe, and the bartenders iPod a great selection.

Best Overage/Underage Dive: Blarney Cove, on 14th btwn B and C. With an 8am first call and 4am last call, and combined with no ID checker, this is the only bar where the under-21 set and Medicaid crowd compete for a gray haired bartender’s attention.

6. Best karaoke:
They say: Izakaya Izu (9 E 13th St, + 646-486-7313).
We say: By far the best karaoke in the city is Winnie’s (04 Bayard St, + 212-732-2384), an old Chinese hangout behind the courthouse in Chinatown. The only problem? It’s where all the NY magazine editors hang out. Understandably, they didn’t want to blow up their spot. But the world deserves to know about Winnie’s $1 songs, $4 Tsingtao and the dreadlocked black guy wearing all-white and singing in perfect Cantonese.

Me say: White people may only study the ancient art of karaoke in Asia, preferably on a remote Filipino island with trannies, hookers, and Chinese/Malay business men. PS: If I ever hear a Billburg Madonna duet ever agin my head shall explodeth…

7. Best hamburger
They say: Resto (111 E 29th St, + 212-685-5585).
We say: Royale (57 Avenue C, New York (+ 212-254-6600). Old school cheeseburgers served with a perfect mass of fries, which are exemplary.

Me Say: Nice call Guardian. Royale is “examplary,” especially med-rare with the drippy, tempura-style onion rings. But…the jukebox’s Foo Fightery/Springstenian vibe is too loud. So eat out back if you can; rare is the the downtown bar with a solid garden scene.

Still, there is a better burger at Joe’s Restaurant on 6th Ave and 12th. The perfect diner, Joe’s grilled bloody meat outdoes both Corner Bistro (commonly cited as NY’s burge par excellance) and Royale in flavor and tenderness. Order the deluxe, as the fries are serendipitous (I have no idea what that word means).

8. Best 24-hour coffee shop
They say: Veselka (144 Second Ave, + 212-228-9682).
We say: Tick Tock Diner (481 8th Ave, + 212-268-8444). Veselka is in the East Village and serves mediocre diner food. Tick Tock Diner is behind Pennsylvania Station and also serves mediocre diner food. But 24-hour coffee shops were never about the kitchen. It’s about who’s tucked into that booth at 4.30am, drinking a vanilla milkshake and eating a steak and nothing beats the sad parade of commuters and stranded souls at Tick Tock, eating away an eternal wait, one fry at a time.

Me say: As a semi-pro Cheese Fry Sampler, 24-hour diners are a category I know well. Both the Guardian and New York both miss their targets here.

It’s 5am. You’re craving cheese covered chicken fingers; meatloaf; clam strips; a bacon, egg and cheese on a crossiant; key lime pie; another beer; a milkshake; and fresh-squeezed carbonated lemonade. There’s only one place to go: The Waverly Restaurant, on 6th Ave at Waverly Place. (Fuck the Waverly Inn!) For service, decor, and food, no diner in New York touches this Greenwhich Village landmark. The Waverly Diner takes the only-in-NY vibe Katz’s strives for, de-touristifies it, and hires professional waiters. And the menu has a staggering 4389 selections.

9. Best deli
They say: 2nd Avenue Deli (162 E 33rd St, nr Third Ave, + 212-677-0606).
We say: Katz’s (205 E Houston St, + 212-254-2246 ) 2nd Avenue deli recently moved to 3rd avenue. (Don’t ask.) Katz’s is hands down the best deli in New York. It’s still there on the corner of Ludlow and Houston. Their pastrami sandwich, as compared to its 2nd Avenue competition, shows the latter to be ungenerous, unfulfilling and well, 2nd rate.

Me Says: Really this is the Best Jewish Deli category. With $15 dollar sandwiches, both Katz’s and 2nd Ave could be the Best Rip Offs in New York. But if you’re craving an authentic shalom-worthy meal—latkes and all—try either. 2nd Ave wins on quality (the brisket is exceptional). Katz’s on ambience and American Apparel store closeness.

10. Best barbeque
(This one is not in the magazine’s Classics section - but we’ve included it because everyone enjoys a good bbq)
They say: Hill Country 30 W 26th St, nr Broadway (+212-255-4544).
We say: It’s still Daisy May’s BBQ (604 W 46th St, + 212 977-1500 ). Once again, Hill Country is good. Fingerlickin’ good. But Daisy May’s, Adam Perry Lang’s temple to all things ‘que on the far west side, is slightly better. It wins, essentially, on points. Perry Lang’s pork ribs shed their bone with a bit more ease and his mashed potatoes come with perhaps the best red-eye gravy this side of the Mason-Dixon line.

Me say: Big Bone Lick BBQ, Greenwhich St and 7th Ave. Named after Big Bone Lick State Park in Beaverlick, KY, (and yes, I’ve been there—don’t ask) BBL has top-notch BBQ cooked in one of Manhattan’s best smoke stoves. If that’s what you call the giant smoke machine in the kitchen. Bone Lick is owned by the Chelsea gay dudes behind Viceroy on 18th St and 8th Ave (right next to the gayest store in NY—Chelsea Coop— Viceroy is the second place all-time gay brunch champions, after that place on 8th Ave corner of 15th St). Try Bone Lick’s Carolina pulled pork, extra BBQ sauce, cheese added. I know pulled pork traditionalists will say its dish best served sans queso, but this is NY not SC.
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TAGS: beer, Brooklyn, Drugs, election, georgia, Heroin, iPod, Madonna, Manhattan, Music, NATO, New York, New York City, New York Times, pennsylvania, Pizza, Sandwich, Soundtrack, The Pogues, Travel, White People, williamsburg

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Obama, the Kennedys, Clintons, and Halberstam. Best and Brightest Redux vs War in a Time (un)Peace


Monday, February 4, 2008 - 5:05 pm (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

The Kennedys are my second favorite American family, after, of course, my own. JFK is my favorite Prez after Unc-y Abe, FDR, and George Wash. Teddy K is my favorite Senator. Joe Kennedy was the biggest scode eva. And RFK was our best Attorney General, and one of my favorite Americans. He gave the best Convention speech ever, tributing his brother by quoting Shakespeare after a 20 minute ovation. Tears well-up just thinking about Bobby.

Now Obama is being touted as a quasi-Kennedy heir. Bearing witness to Obama in NH, I saw Cornell Capa-esque scenes galore.
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Kennedy-Obama combos are everywhere. Yesterday Obama, in Frank Rich’s widely read Sunday column, was placed pound for pound against JFK without much substance. With a headline of “Ask Not What JFK Can Do for Obama,” Rich wrote: “By framing that debate as a choice between the future and the past, he is revisiting the J. F. K. playbook against Ike.” There’s not much more in Rich’s usually strong column.

But David Leonhardt, the Times economic writer, sat down with Obama for an interview Saturday. His piece offered a better look to inside an Obama administration. And I see JFKisms.

More so than any other candidate this year, Mr. Obama has surrounded his campaign’s policy team with professional economists (most of them, like him, still shy of their 50th birthdays), as opposed to former White House officials or Congress members.

Several Obama proposals have their roots in an academic field known as behavioral economics, which points out how often people can be tripped up by complex bureaucracies. Mr. Obama sometimes talks about an “iPod government” that can achieve its aims by presenting choices more simply. Under one proposal, Medicare would be required to present its prescription drug plans more clearly, to cut down on the number of people who sign up for a more expensive one than they need.

Now, I’m all for the use of “behavioral economics” and “iPod” governments. I love that Samantha Power, Harvard anti-genocide activist, is one of Obama’s main foreign policy advisors.

But the echoes here—young Senator, youth vote for change (largest youth population as % of US since post-WWII baby boom is today), wicked smart Harvard advisors—remind me not of Camelot but of the “whiz kids” JFK stocked his cabinet and White House with: the cocky and wrong MacGeorge Bundy, stat nerd/murderer Robert McNamara, the immobile Dean Rusk, and the idiot Chester Bowles. Of course, John Kenneth Gailbraith, Arthur Schlesinger, and Ted Sorenson were great American political thinkers. However, the lesson, as outlined by David Halberstam in The Best and the Brightest, is that young non-Washington outsiders—agents of change—led us to Vietnam, our grandest national tragedy.

Today we’re stuck in a three-pronged quag-y in Iraq. Thom Ricks yest in WaPost:

Three separate but related wars are being waged in this country now, and the third one, against Shiite extremists, is the most worrisome, according to the commander and senior staff of the U.S. Army division patrolling Baghdad.

The first, against al-Qaeda in Iraq, a Sunni group that U.S. officials believe is foreign-led, is going well despite occasional spikes in violence, such as Friday’s dual bombings of Baghdad marketplaces. Al-Qaeda in Iraq is “frustrated” but “not defeated,” Maj. Gen. Jeffrey W. Hammond, commander of the 4th Infantry Division, said in an interview last week.

The second fight, against the domestic Sunni insurgency, has become dormant in many places in the past year, as about 80,000 armed men, many of them former insurgents, switched sides and came onto the U.S. payroll with groups that officers here call “Concerned Local Citizens.”

The third conflict, and perhaps the most vexing for U.S. commanders, is with Shiite extremist militias. More than two-thirds of U.S. casualties are caused by roadside bombs, particularly by high-tech anti-armor devices, planted by those groups.

And while things may be getting a little better there, we’re still fucked and stuck in Iraq (thus far holding out at #2 on the Grandest National Tragedies list). Obama is Kennedy Jr. And our other choice is Hillary Clinton. Hmmm….

Let’s return to David Halberstam. He wrote War in a Time of Peace, the best book on Clinton-era foreign policy. Basically, the book details how Bill Clinton couldn’t get anything done because the US military thought he was a weak chump.

Was Bill Clinton’s team as bad as JFK’s—did they end up killing 3 million “gooks”? No, but they did sit back during Rwanda (800k dead), botch the Balkans and Somalia, and miss Bin Laden like 28 times. Neither Bill nor JFK (Bay of Oinkz, hello?) were successful in military foreign policy.

When Hillary Clinton was elected to the Senate, one of the first things she did was join the Armed Service Committee. She’s since built relationships with the military her husband lacked.

Still, questions remain. Would Obama be capable of dealing with the generals? Has Hillary established the ties and trust to DoD needed to run a war? No democrat since FDR has been successful Pentagon-ally. JFK led us to Vietnam. LBJ killed 50k American kids. Carter blew Iran. Bubba was duck de lame.

There’ll be tears on my ballot. That’s for sure. But I am voting Hillary because I think she HAS, as New York’s post-9/11 Senator, closed the rift between the military and the Clintons.

It’s a big gamble, I know, because Obama is offering a fresh non-partisan approach. Yet I fear Obama’s Kennedy-esque “outsider” vibe would place the US in a White House-DoD deadlock ala War in a Time of Peace. And more people would die.

Iraq is my issue. It’s the world’s issue. I hate innocent dead people! From my view less death would come with Clinton II. Senator Clinton, I hope I don’t end regretting my vote.

TAGS: Al-Qaeda, balkans, Bill Clinton, BOOKS, Congress, debate, Hillary, Hillary Clinton, idiot, insurgents, iPod, Iran, Iraq, Jr., kids, NATO, New York, obama, political, Politics, Shiite, war

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The Last Days of the Clinton Dynasty? Or Does Hillz Have the Balls to Beat Obama?


Tuesday, January 8, 2008 - 5:35 pm (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

A similar post about Obama appeared here on Sunday. Photos Geoff Kenyon.

The Scene

Monday, January 7th Dover, NH: The buffer town between Portsmouth’s bohemian yuppy vibe and UNH’s campus chic. It’s a little before noon, and Hillary Clinton’s making an appearance at an old school gym, next to a Lee Friedlander photo-ready monument. Half a dozen sattelite dish trucks are parked in front of a post-war brick civic center. Out front, some moms holds “Slush Sucks” signs, protesting global warming.

The Clinton media desk is helpful and friendly. In stark contrast to the day prior when I was denied entry to a Clinton event down the seacoast.

Many diva/cougar/borderline-lesbian women prowl about, Blackberries in hand–Clinton staffers. (There’s no question that these women would run America better than any of the men who’ve tried before. Though like black ice on a NH byway, these women hide their cold lethality.)

Inside the gym I hear that same damn U2 song Obama comes out to. But the press is quarantined in the back of the room, and all I can see is a wall of tripods. Wait, a young journo’s laptop is open to the Wikipedia entry for “City of Blind Lights.” PC eavesdropping, I read that Bono calls it, “A song about innocence, naiveté.” Don’t tell that to Obama!

Finally I glimpse the room: a New England classic, with 20-ft wood walls trimmed in Vermont green and white. I guess there’s 400 people on hand. But a fire marshal says they’re at capacity–590. Green “Clinton Country” signs are mixed with Hillary’s campaign poster.

I ask an 18-year-old girl, on a class trip with her high school, why she was there. “Because Obama denied us,” says Emily Gumbelevich. “They said there wasn’t enough room.” Thus I feel a black shadow cast over this event. As Lenny Kravitz plays, the energy level is low, and some look defeated. I go five for five in choosing undecided voters in the crowd. All like Obama but want to hear Hillary out.

From the podium, a young male Clinton staffer, in white button down tucked into dungarees, with side burns and a yuppie spike, is hosting Hillary Clinton Trivia. Glancing at a raised press stand, I notice every face is crumpled by the same smirk. Do they suffer from Ironic Press Face Disorder?

The Speech, Notes On

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Hillary thanks all, listing a few important locals. She’s wearing an American flag blue Chanel jacket with pants. Her legs and thighs look in excellent shape for her age.

“New Hampshire is a fiercely independent,” she says. “They take their politics seriously. They do their homework.” Next, when asking for votes, she switches to the collective we, as in “We share America’s hope and dreams, we keep faith in that dream.” Fellow “citizens, Patriots” it’s time to “rise to the occasion. Our country needs us.” Why? Because Hillary offers “forward progress” to “solve problems” and “restore leadership.” She “yearns” twice in one minute, for “change” and “results” respectively. She has 35-years experience.

She says Saturday’s debate finally illustrated the difference between her and her rivals because “they were actually asked some questions,” laughter.

Attacking Obama, she says there’s a difference between “rhetoric and reality.” Adding, “No matter how beautiful a speech is, when the words end, it’s over.” She nit-picks Obama’s duplicitous record on Patriot Act, lobbyist, and Iraq war are funding. Obama’s Not Change is her theme. (”You go girl,” yells a woman in crowd.)

This brief stump speech ends, and she moves straight to questions. (”Obama doesn’t take questions,” says a man to his wife.)

Audience Question 1: How will you partner with non-profits?

Hillary not only supports, “Civil society–the faith groups, not-for-profits–I came out of it. Out of college I wanted to be a child advocate, still am.” Examples of work she did years ago. Then, as President, she says, “We need to give non-itemizing tax deduction on not-for-profit tax donations. We need to encourage more giving. Poor people give a higher percentage of their income to church groups than the wealthy. We need to get them tax breaks.” She says she would further organize national civil society summits.

THOUGHTS: Use of “not-for-profit” instead on “non-profit” was weird, but the answer was strong.

Question 2: Rambling speech: “I worked in Bolivia and saw a democratic sweep by Evo Morales” blah to question: Would you continue to help destabilize the Morales government like the Bush admin? “All US Presidents practice Cowboy diplomacy” in Latin America!!!

“First off, I’m a cowgirl!” Cheers, laughter. “But I have been to Bolivia and understand indigenous rights. I think the US has made a series of mistakes. We should support Morales–Whatever happened to the US supporting education and health care reform?” Broader: “I will fix the US’ troubled relationship with Latin America, our largest trading partner.”

THOUGHTS: Random but good question. Impressed Hillary did not criticize Morales. In fact, she nailed the question, if light on detail.

Question 3: Illegal immigration and the New York license scandal.

Hillary outlines four-pt plan.

  1. Tougher border security, barriers where necessary.
  2. Make it clear employers will be penalized for hiring immigrants. Example: post-9/11, much of hazardous clean up done by immigrants, and as Senator she could not help undocumented workers who got sick.
  3. Help communities-”like Dover”-that are coping with immigration.
  4. I want to see if we can work with Latin America to create better economic opportunity within their borders.

She closes with: “Rounding up 12-14 million people would cost $200 billion. Imagine how you’d feel, you in “Live Free or Die” state, when a cop comes to your door and says he needs to search your house for immigrants. That’s not America. I would register all immigrants and deport only criminals.”

Question 4: Do you agree going Green is essential to world politics?

“Look at Sudan. Drought has caused people from central and southern Sudan to move to west, mainly to Darfur. The war there is a land grab motivated by climate change.”

Question 5: Int’l global warming again:

She would enact a post-Kyoto treaty by end of 2009.

Question 6:What would you do in your first 100 days?

I will immediately convene the Joint Chiefs, the Sec Def, State to draft a plan for troop withdrawal in Iraq. I will ask Congress to send me all Bush’s vetoes and reverse them. I will sign executive orders reversing Bush’s executive orders. I will send out bipartisan envoys to all the world’s intractable problems. I will convene a climate change group, to meet every 3 months. I will work with Congress to reform health care.

But what about the unforeseen events in her first 100 days? Uses Gordon Browne example: two days after he was elected terrorists struck Glasgow. “You are hiring a President to be there when the chips are down. I’ll be ready!”

THOUGHTS: All this is rapid fire, and, man, she’s still hot.

Question 7: Education, from a UNH professor who says, “My kids just aren’t curious anymore.”

Hillary would end No Child because “it turned kids into lil test takers.” Rather, “more assessments of individual students.”

Question 8: Complex Iran-Middle East question.

Hillary regrets Bush’s ignorance of Israel-Palestine. “You can’t quit, walk away, you must stay engaged.” Uses some Oslo-Camp David examples from Bubba’s reign. Calls now, “Most dangerous time since 1947. With severe threats from Hamas and Hezzbollah, who Iran funds. The Arab neighbors have withdrawn from peace process. Iraq’s destabilized. Iran needs to be engaged-Iran attacks US troops in Iraq! Can Iran change its behavior? Through the diplomatic process, I hope yes. I’d open engagement with Syria. I would be focused on making sure Iran knows that any nation harboring or funding terrorism will be a target. But ignoring it doesn’t fix it.”

THOUGHT: Most dangerous since 1947 is overreaching, I’d say.

Question 9: What if Iran had a deliverable nuke?

That’s a tough question for a candidate to answer. But the US cannot permit Iran to have a deliverable nuke. They are still years from that though.

Question 10: Flat tax?

I like that it simplifies the tax code. (I missed rest of answer.)

Question 11: New Orleans situation disgusting, what would you do?

I would appoint qualified people to run FEMA. I wouldn’t keep FEMA and DHS merged.

THOUGHTS: Lame answer Hillary. The city is still destroyed and FEMA alone is not the answer. Did you not consider it’s also our most violent city by a factor of 2-1? I guess since we’re so far up north you and your advisors agreed to move quickly with New Orleans.

Question 12: Economy is fucked, how would you fix it?

We’re at the edge of a recession: 55 unemployment, oil at $100 per barrel, job growth stagnant, debt, expensive health care-it’s time to move back to fiscal responsibility. To end Bush tax cuts and close tax loopholes for hedg fund/private equity. To create jobs in green sector. To stop home foreclosures for 90 days. Freeze interest rates. Pump up unemplyment funds.

THOUGHTS: Sounds decent, though “fiscal responsibility” AKA balanced budgets are hardly a cure all and should NOT have been your lead.

Question 12: On Bhutto, how would you deal with Pakistan?

I knew Benazir for 12 years and admired her as a leader. She took a risk and paid for it with her life. I believe in an independent investigation. We need to know who killed her. We need an envoy to sit down with Musharraf, to pressure him. The protestors are lawyers, middle class people. We need to engage them. We need to push for elections. It’s tragic because the military, business, and feudal stronghold are playing with fire. Extremism is gaining because of corruption and failure to deliver services. Coalition aid must be accounted for!

THOUGHTS: She doesn’t mention Pakistan’s most popular politician, former PM Nawaz Sharif, who Bubba hated. Still, I like her policy of not calling for Musharraf’s removal until after elections. Really like that she takes the military-feudal-industrial complex to task, saying they fuel extremism. In fact, feudalism is Pakistan’s number 1 issue, and few have been discussing it in the wake of the Bhutto’s death. Bhutto was a feudal titan! Clinton’s fluid on Pakistan, and I love that about her.

Last Question: How do you plan to stress importance experience?

This is an extended job interview and I’m not asking you to take a leap of faith. Words, no matter how beautifully delivered, once said, they’re gone.

Blunt Assessment

By taking questions for over 90-minutes, Senator Clinton offered a variety of policy positions that I largely agreed with. What she lacks in charisma, Clinton more than makes up for with intelligence. And I was very impressed.

Post-Speech Around Town: “Hillary’s Your Guy with Balls!”

Later, down the road in a Dover residential area, we ran in to Jennifer (pic below), a Clinton volunteer canvassing door-to-door. Dressed in a high performance fleece, khaki trousers, and duck boots, with short hair, Julia was the supreme Clinton dyke. She said, “Who would you rather have sitting across the table from Musharraf? Obama or Hillary.” I said I didn’t know. “Hillary has balls! She’s your guy in Pakistan.” Huh? Did you really just say that Hillary has balls? “In that case, with Pakistan, yes-yes I did.”

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Having spent the last four days following both Obama and Hillary, I’d have to agree. Obama was slammed by the opening question of Saturday’s debate, about Pakistan and al-Qaeda, saying he’d violate Pakistani sovereignty to hunt terror. Hillary, in response, took Obama to task, saying no strike would be done on her watch without Pakistan’s knowledge. In his rebuttal, Obama back-peddled “Of course I’d alert the Pakistanis,” but why didn’t he say that the first time? From that point on, the tone was set: Clinton was fiercer and smarter than her male opponents were. Intelligent ferocity…Maybe the saying should be changed from “got balls” to “got clit”?

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TAGS: Al-Qaeda, attack, climate change, Congress, debate, economy, election, free, global warming, HBO, Hillary, Hillary Clinton, immigration, iPod, Iran, Iraq, kids, Lenny Kravitz, NATO, New Hampshire, New York, obama, Patriot Act, Politics, Practice, Slam, Vermont, war

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