Blogging on Meds

SHIT!!! Kobe’s now talking of playing pro hoops in Europe, specifically Italy - probably Milan. I thought it was kinda cool that Josh Childress went to Greece to play for the next few seasons and earn some money that the NBA wont allow these guys to get paid. I also thought it was maybe a good idea that Lebron James would even consider playing in Europe as well. But now two of the leagues best players considering a move across the Atlantic, seems a little more realistic than I wanted it to be. I mean, Kobe grew up part of young life watching his pops, “Jelly Bean” Bryant, play in Italy - so maybe it’s somewhat fitting for him to follow suit.

Boston Globe/Associated Press story here…

If Italy comes knocking with big money next summer, the NBA could lose its biggest star in Kobe Bryant. In lieu of a report that Cleveland star Lebron James would strongly consider playing in Europe for $50 million for one season when he becomes a free agent in two years, when asked by The Boston Globe about the report Bryant said he would take a similar deal by a pro team in Italy if offered when he becomes a free agent next summer. The Associated Press originally reported that Bryant could have interest in playing professionally in Europe. “I’d go. I’d probably go,” said Bryant, during a USA Basketball press conference on Friday morning. “Like Milan or something like that, where I grew up or something like that? Peace out.” Bryant continued: “Do you know any reasonable person that would turn down 50 (million dollars)?”

We (U.S.A.) get Pau Gasol and Dirk Novitski, you (Europe) get Lebron and Kobe. That’s not a fair trade.

Why aren’t these European clubs paying their own stars huge amounts of cash to stay in their perspective leagues? Is the NBA that much better than the Euro leagues as a whole? Is it pretty much the opposite for the M.L.S. (Major League Soccer in the US) vs. all the badass soccer leagues in Europe?

But think about it, really really really $50 million per season for an adult to play a game that involves wearing baggy shorts and throwing a ball around? That’s fucked… That’s a whole other story…

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KG misses crucial fourth qtr game-tying free throws after C’s stage another big comeback, Paul Pierce scores 38, Kobe makes clutch steal and dunk to force a game 6 in Boston, series 3-2…

Paul Pierce showed once again why he’s the most underrated player in the league. He was the game’s top scorer and still had 8 assists. He guarded Kobe for over three quarters with efficiency, but was taken off him when he got a fifth foul with about 7 minutes to go. Overall, the game was exciting from the second quarter on, when the Celts made a 19-point comeback. But without a win it’s hard to get too pumped up with sports exuberance. See you Tuesday.

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Considering that people want to read about piss and I need a niche, I accept the role of pissmaster and will provide you with a weekly Piss Report. This week we’ll focus on Kobe Bryant and his post-game rant last night after the Lakers failed to hold a 24 point lead :

Whine about it tonight, a lot of wine, a lot of beer, a couple shots, maybe like 20 of them, digest it, get back to work tomorrow. Nothing you can do. Nothing. We just wet the bed. A nice big one, too, one of the ones you can’t put a towel over. It was terrible. Nothing you can do about it. They played great in the third quarter, we played like crap. They pulled out a great win, now it’s time to move on to the next one, period.

That’s correct, Kobe is a pisser. There’s a lot going on here let’s start with the lethal mix of wine, beer and shots. It’s safe to say that Kobe might have benefited from a little time in College learning how to drink. It’s no wonder he’s pissing the bed and getting accused of rape. I’ve seen humans do incredible things after two or three shots, things they didn’t remember but won’t forget because it was witnessed and become urban legend. A fraction of the Kobe equation caused some dudes I know to try to cut a tree down (bad call having a saw in your whip) only to pass out and have a cop wake them up the next morning asking why they were sleeping in a parking lot with a saw while a Honda Civic bisected by a tree was illuminated by the rising sun in the background.

I’m saying there’s no way Vanessa Bryant doesn’t wake up to a Laker Golden Shower thanks to Kobe’s binge drinking, she probably got drenched last night.

Make it rain Kobe!

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Pierce scores 19 and guards Kobe in second half, C’s mount 21-3 run to end 3rd qtr, most exciting 4th qtr of my life—Posey, House hit big shots and Ray Allen gets numbers 1 and 3 on Sportscenter’s Top Ten, C’s trailed by 18 at the half, “Is this for real?” and “Wow” most texted phrases across C’s nation…

Superstars: Ray-Ray cuts like a samurai sword through Laker butter; The Truth vs Kobe 2nd half match-up…

All haters forever hold your peace. The 2008 Boston Celtics are better than the LA Lakers. The end. Taking a 3-1 series lead, the C’s have Boston on a natural green high. Break out your parading wear, folks, because next week the Duck Boats should be tooting through town, spewing confetti on the green masses, trophy raised high. 

Usually I’d go to Bob Ryan or Dan Shaugnessy for the game’s money quote, but their hyperbolic myth-makery can’t compete with Globe beat writer Mark Spears’ cold, hard facts:   

The Celtics overcame a 24-point deficit en route to a stunning 97-91 victory over the Lakers in Game 4 last night at Staples Center. Boston owns a 3-1 lead in the best-of-seven series with Game 5 here Sunday. The Celtics can win their first title since 1986 with one more victory.

So who was the player of the game? In the 4th quarter, Ray Allen morphed into a human highlight reel, driving to hit some gorgeous lay-ups. But it was The Truth who saved the day. At halftime, with no fouls, PP told C’s coach Doc Rivers to put him on Kobe Bryant, the league MVP, and one of the best 4th quarter scorers ever. And it worked.

After the victory, Pierce stormed the tunnel at the Staples Center, arms raised, shouting, “That’s how you do it!”

In the postgame press conference, Kobe was asked how you deal with such a loss. “Whine a lot,” he answered. “Drink a lot of beer. Do a few shots. Do 20 shots.” I usually hate Kobe’s existence, but that was a perfect answer.

How many Globe covers can The Truth handle (this is at least the sixth in a month)?

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The Boston Celtics got cocky last night and almost blew a 24-pt lead in the fourth quarter against the overrated, Kobe Byant-led LA Lakers, but held on to win 108-102. And as the cliche goes, a win is a win. The NBA Finals moves to Los Angeles for three games starting Tuesday.

Right, Pierce clebrates.

The player of the game came off the bench. Leon Powe, whose name I’d maybe said twice in my life, scored 21 points in 15 minutes during the third quarter. Rocking the 0 jersey to Robert “Chief” Parish’s 00, Powe entered Celtic lore via Bob Ryan’s nick-name machine:

Leon Powe is an X-factor for the Boston Celtics. That’s when he’s even given a chance to be the “X.” In the 10 games leading up to the NBA Finals, the 6-foot-8-inch kid from Cal played a total of 36 minutes, including three DNPs.

X-Man Slams

Complaints? I like all the assists, but Rondo needs to find his shot. And the C’s can’t get cocky when up—it’s the Finals!

Vegas/Sports Writers Were Wrong
I’ve been saying the Lakers and the entire Western Conference is overrated for some time. When the Celtics played any West team this year in a game of consenquence (ie, a loss the game before, a tough road test, a loss to said team in a previous match-up, a player from opposing team’s pre-game shit-talk), they won. Every time. They beat San Antonio, New Orleans, Utah, whoever. Vegas odds makers were not paying attention to the fluidity of the Celts’ season, where they’d win anytime the pressure came down. That’s called “intangibles” in Yankee-speak, which line-makers can’t quantify.

And while KG’s gamer attitude was written about in every sports outlet, The Truth factor was overlooked. That’s been the story of our boy Paul Pierce’s career. His game is all awkward elbows and crooked feet, but the guy is as good as they come, especially in big games. (More inatgibility.) In a few weeks, when Pierce is kissing the trophy while parading in front of a million Boston fans, after leading Sports Center for 12th time of the month, the rest of America will understand The Truth.

Powe’s Mentor, Robert “Chief” Parish, pothead. Papi at the game.

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The Sox moved their game up to 6pm out of respect for the Celts-Lakers NBA Finals Game 1 (9pm, ABC). I was walking by Professor Thom’s, a Sox bar in Manhattan, about a half hour ago and caught a brawl breaking out. Coco Crisp, who slid hard and knocked down the Rays’ SS last night, got hit by a pitch and started to go to first—but faked! He flipped his helmet to ground and charged. The Rays’ pitcher Jason Shields took a swing but Coco—whose Dad was a boxer—expertly ducked. Coco fired a shot and connected, then was tackled to the ground. Rays’ resident dickhead Carl Crawford ran up and threw some cheap shots as the benches cleared.

Hopefully Kobe will get his ass beat later tonight at the TD Bank North Garden.

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I’m all for derogatory sports slogans, but “Beat LA” doesn’t cut it. That’s the NBA and media-safe version of “Lakers Suck, Kobe Swallows and Sperm Swaps GasSHolE who then Snowballs Odom.”

As a Boston Celtics fan, I’m calling on all my fellow asshole sports fans to boycott “Beat LA” in favor of something more offensive. Unlike LA, who had a three-peat with Shaq earlier this decade, this is our first trip to the finals in two decades. Or, fuck these fake-ass LA fans who go to games in sunglasses to stare at the “famous.” Entourage sucks.

As the old punk album states, This is Boston Not LA. In Boston people are cynical assholes. Life sucks. We shiver through winter and sweat through summer. We have two things going for us: sports and the Kennedys (and now Teddy’s on his deathbed). We don’t wear purple, ever. In fact, if you wear purple to a bar in Boston you will get your ass kicked—and not because you’re a Lakers fan but because purple is, in Boston speak, “foahr faaags.” Boston fans are racist, sexist, and any other “ist.” So act like it—don’t just chant “Beat LA.”

I’m in a rush, but let’s throw a few anti-Lakers slogans out there. How about “Rape Kobe” or “Kobe=Rapist”? Remember, this year’s NBA MVP was accused of rape in Colorado a few years ago. Let’s not let him forget it, ok? Another good target is Phil Jackson. He’s a new age dickhead. We hate him his Zen pussy shit…

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The Los Angeles Lakers beat defending Champs the San Antonio Spurs in a home game Thursday night, 100-92.  MVP Kobe Bryant led his team to the finals with 39 fuckin points.  Looks like a Lakers-Celtics showdown might be a possibility after all.

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