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Love God’s Way (god hates fags)


Thursday, September 4, 2008 - 7:43 pm (EST)
By John LaCroix

There are multiple levels of Gay Music.  Some bands are what we like to call Gateway Bands.  They lure children in with Pop Grooves and Salacious Melodies leaving them wanting more.  They’ll move on to more dangerous bands and the next thing you know you’ve got a homosexual for a child.

We’ve taken the time to highlight the bands that are particularly Gay.  Please take the time and dissect your child’s CD / iTunes catalog. If you find 3 or more of these bands in their collection it is time to take action.
We Strongly recommend that you burn the CDs.  Make sure your child is watching.  Make sure they can feel the heat. It is crucial that the image remains emblazoned in their young minds. They need to know that if they continue to listen to these bands they may Burn eternally as well.

Taken from the “Gay Bands” page (which includes Lil’ Wayne, Ted Nugent and Black People? just to name a few) of lovegodsway.com, operated by Donnie Davies… a shining example of masculinity and quite the song writer. Please enjoy this video of his new single, praise satan.

Donnie Davies - Take My Hand from Donnie Davies on Vimeo.

And when you’re done cumming in heaven, check out this “world-famous” ditty.

The Bible Says from Donnie Davies on Vimeo.

TAGS: Donnie Davies, Gay Bands, Homophobia, Lil Wayne

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New T.I.: which one of these is not like the other?


Tuesday, August 26, 2008 - 7:07 pm (EST)
By Tommy Esquire

 

Oh shit.  Here’s the weirdest song of the year: Swagger Like Us” by T.I., featuring Kanye West, Jay-Z, AND Lil Wayne.  Sounds exciting with the four biggest rappers on the planet on one joint, only it’s terrible.  The hook (and basically the whole song) is a sample from M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes” where she says “no one on the corner has a swagger like us.”  So yeah, it’s a UK hipster ironically jacking real rappers, sampled by real rappers.  And no, it ain’t a hoax perpetrated by some blogger-DJ, it’s legit.  It doesn’t work at all, and the verses aren’t even hot.  Kanye turns on the auto-tune but doesn’t sound awesome like he did on “Put On” and Hov and Weez sound like they just recorded over their iphone after getting the paypal confirmation.  Only Tip really goes hard, but by the time he comes in, you just want the song to be over.

I could see this being a Kanye song, or maybe Hov or Wayne trying to be daring, but I really can’t wrap my head around T.I. getting behind this.  The man has the best taste of any rapper, he never drops anything questionable, and even his joints for the ladies are perfectly respectable.  This is like getting your college friends together with your high school buddies, or eating cole slaw and pancakes — you just can’t believe it’s happening.  I hope this doesn’t end up on Paper Trail.

TAGS: Jay Z, Lil Wayne, M.I.A., Paper Planes, Paper Trail, Swagger Like Us, T.I., Young Jeezy

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Young Jeezy needs a Vacation (but not from rapping)


Monday, August 25, 2008 - 1:27 pm (EST)
By Tommy Esquire

Unlike his boy Tip, who has been dropping heat ever since getting sentenced to a year in the pen, Young Jeezy has kept the joints quiet off his new album The Recession (dropping next Tuesday).  Until now.  A bunch of shit has leaked in the last week, and let me tell you, this bitch will challenge Carter III and Paper Trail for album of the year.  Usually in rap, the best music comes from the new blood and not the veterans, but these boys are seriously puttin’ it down.

The next single is Vacation.  Featuring an amazing beat from NYC’s The Inkredibles, this song keeps up with the massive sound from Put On and, really, everything he’s ever done.  (Sorry this one cuts off, if ya got a better one, post it in the comments.)

By the way, big ups to Jay for shouting out ya boy’s old hood Kirkwood in this joint.  When I moved over there, it was nothing but dope boys and tranny hookers, and when I moved out (two years later) it was all coffee shops and health food grocers.  People went from pushin’ weight to pushin’ strollers.  So if my experience is any help, all you need to gentrify is bump snap music loud and throw midnight barbecues.  If you smoke it, they will come.  And by ‘they’ I mean white thirtysomethings.

TAGS: Kirkwood, Lil Wayne, Paper Trail, snap music, T.I., Tha Carter 3, Tha Carter III, trannies, Young Jeezy

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The Moment: V Fest 2008


Tuesday, August 12, 2008 - 10:18 am (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

The Baltimore Sun captures Lil Wayne and the honkypalooza that is V Fest…


Lil Wayne showed up 40 minutes late at a festival that ran on time for every single other act. Performing with just a DJ, his set was pure ghetto. By closing with a Kanye guest spot on Lollipop, Wayne scored the Fest’s highest energy moment—even though Weezy forgot his verse. I can’t figure out how to upload video, but here it is on a  cell phone cam…and yes that is 20,000 plus white people moshing to a remix.

TAGS: Lil Wayne, Video, Weezy, White People, youtube

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Owen Black, What’s In Your NPR Bag? Tha Carter 2


Wednesday, July 30, 2008 - 9:54 pm (EST)
By Anthony Pappalardo

Not all NPR Bags hang from hipster shoulders lacking muscle tone or definition bearing intellectual ephemera. This week’s bag, property of Owen Black is possibly the Yin to last weeks bag’s Yang (property of Ethan Snell). While Ethan’s virgin bag was a gift, flaunting his girl’s crafty vision and Gocco print handiwork, Owen’s bag was acquired by one of the oldest traditions in history, predating currency; he boosted that shit :

” I got this bag at Nike Town on 57th in Manhattan. I went there to buy one thing, and one thing only: white XL tennis shorts. For me, its a summer staple. But I noticed these racks with dozens of shopping bags ‘For your in-store use’. I took one look at my old NPR bag (not even going to mention the make) and knew it was time to upgrade. Took one off the rack from near the center, because many of them were battered from regular use. I ducked into the fitting room and stashed my new bag inside my old one, and I was good.”

Ray Cappo was wrong, photographs don’t lie amigo because in plain sight we see the following in vivid digital camera color translated from ones and zeros

L to R, in rows (As told by Mr.Black):
-pad of paper
-transparent document wallet (for leases, resumes, contracts, and other “important papers”)
-postcard advertising the peter beste True Norwegian Black Metal book release/kasher gallery opening
-ralph lauren private sale notice
-various work papers
-package containing birthday present for my sister which i finally gave to her this weekend, a little late though (March 1)
-the art of worldly wisdom by Baltasar Gracián that my friend Josh let me borrow. He is teaching english in Indonesia right now, and from time to time, requests a passage by number, which I then scan and email to him. its important to share wisdom.
-business cards paperclipped together. always important to have these on hand.
-pencil
-$50 AMEX gift check
-$5 watch
-my mother’s potato latke recipe as transcribed from a telephone conversation
-sketches from a class I took at NYU
-magazines
-umbrella
-key card
-license plate return receipt (not sure why this is still kicking around my bag, or why it isn’t in my document wallet)
-Tide stain erasing pen. If you carry any kind of bag and one of these isn’t in it, you aren’t batman.

Unlike Ethan’s happy-go-lucky, Obama-Pint-Glass-Half-Full enthusiastic tote, Black’s bag has a Jim Jones swagger, and Billy Idol sneer mixed with wisdom and foresight, much greater than the average man of his years. Amongst some playful decoys we see that Owen is prepared for the pitfalls of a loosely wrapped burrito (stain pen), a new chick dinner date (Mom’s recipe), and the printed credentials to quiet the fastest cocaine tongue (business card and key card), fuck he’s even prepared for an unplanned rainy walk of shame with the umbrella too. A true New Yorker. The only thing lacking is a little sun-block to avoid a cocaine sunburn on an all too bright walk of shame. The bridges to the boroughs can do a number on your nose and forehead without proper protection.

Lastly, Owen silences any whispers that his bag was an impulse steal, as he rattles off a calculated manifesto detailing why this carbon loaded tote accompanies him through his daily motions :

“I love my bag because when i hang it over my shoulder, it feels natural for me to loop my right thumb around the handles, which allows me to show off my rings and knuckle tattoo, but thats just me. The combination of ink and bling really catches a lot of women’s eyes on the subway. Their staring trail goes something like this: Me, elsewhere, me, my right hand, my right hand, my face, my right hand, my shoes, elsewhere, my bag, my jeans. I can tell by the way they look at me that they are liking what they see. I always wear sunglasses on the trains, so that I can stare at them back. I also love how large my bag is. Its so big that sometimes I lose my umbrella inside of it. If you’re a dude, certain things you own you want to be small, and some have to be big. Carrying a tiny bag around is not cool. Too easily construed as a purse. I am pretty sure I could fit like three babies in my bag. And its made out of synthetic woven thread, so even the one on the bottom could breathe right through the side of my bag. The only weakness it has is that it’s not waterproof, but, oh yeah, my bag contains an umbrella, and thats backup for if I forget to wear my rain jacket. My bag, my nuts, my umbrella, I’m covered.”

Owen is a true Duffel Bag Boy like Weezy, or at least a NPR Bag Boy. Look at all those fucking Weezy covers in the background for fuck’s sake. Someone kick Ethan Snell’s ass immediately. Game over.

TAGS: A Milli, Canvas Tote, Lil Wayne, NPR Bag, Tha Carter 3

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Best New Yorker Sentences of 2008


Wednesday, July 23, 2008 - 11:41 am (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

In one of the best magazine stories of the year, David Samuels embeds with a Cali pot dealer and his different “scenes” for the New Yorker. I love that this was cool with the editors:

Water pipes were passed around, and everyone got high. After four hits on Nick’s bong, the slogans on the refrigerator started to vibrate with uncommon significance.

The whole story is worth reading. And Samuels deserves a National Mag Award nomination. Guy spent six months reporting this one…

The New Yorker is taking an increasingly liberal approach to covering pot and potheads. Remember the blunt-in-hand Weezy pic (see below) that ran as a full page last year? It was the first time the magazine had ever run a picture of someone smoking weed. Now Samuels writes 8000-plus words and is admittedly stoned during much of the second half of the story.

First time New Yorker ever ran a pot smoking pic, Lil Wayne from last year…

TAGS: Lil Wayne, New York, war, Weezy

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The Myth of Barry the Lefty


Thursday, July 10, 2008 - 10:50 am (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

All this shock and awe at Obama’s centrist drift ignores history. Barack Obama was never an uber-liberal, despite his (thin) Senate voting record saying he was the chamber’s resident lefty.

No one better chronicles Obama’s rise to national power than the Chicago Tribune’s David Mendell in his book Obama: From Promise to Power. For the book, Mendell followed Obama from 2003 until he announced his presidential run in early 2007. The politician Mendell describes is a pragmatist with a liberal’s heart; an egotistical, insanely ambitious, and mercurial man who wants to be loved—even if that means appealing to the center for votes; a man whose career has been guided by Washington-insider David Axelrod, with an above-all focus on personal narrative; a natural wonk who has traded policy for vague rhetoric to achieve political goals; and someone whose political fortunes were dependant on Penny Priztker and Chicago’s Gold Coast monied elite. After reading the book, there’s no question Obama has what it takes to be president. But he’s a politician not a progressive activist.

Those ever-( dare I say over-) influential “Netroots” folks on the left did not study the facts before crowning Obama liberalism’s savior. Obama ran a primary campaign that was to the right of Hillary Clinton on domestic issues. (Remember, triangulated centrism was a mid-90s Clinton specialty.) Still, the net-left gave Barry unending support.

Now Obama’s disregarded the constitution in favor of telecoms—you know, phone companies, the little guy. He supported a Supreme Court ruling overturning a handgun ban in a city with an unprecedented history of handgun murder. He told black people not to try and be “the next Lil Wayne” (even though Wayne’s studied political science at U Houston and his latest record ends with a six-minute spoken-word political essay), prompting longtime Obama supporter Jesse Jackson to say he wants to “cut his nuts out.” He wants to “refine” his unrealistic 16-month Iraq withdrawal promise. And so on.

None of this should come as a surprise, however. Nor does it make Obama a weaker candidate. It just makes him less of the hope/change martyr the net-left worshipped. Of course, it’s hard not to be offended by Obama’s recent moves. But politically I respect his, well, Clintonian dedication to electoral victory at any cost.

After eight years of GOP illegal wars and criminal rule, we need a winner not a savior. And on foreign policy Obama remains a committed multilateralist. I’m looking forward to seeing how Europe and the Middle East greet him on his upcoming tour. Although this TNR piece is pessimistic about the latter stop, saying recent statements at AIPAC on Israel have soured Arab opinion, I’m not sure I buy the authors’ argument. Arabs are foremost a hospitable people. When Obama arrives as a guest, I hope and assume they’ll respond with the same open mindedness that I received upon visiting the region. If Obama needs to drift to the center to win an election so he can carry out a liberal foreign policy, that works for me.

TAGS: Barack Obama, BOOKS, election, GOP, Hillary, Hillary Clinton, Iraq, Jesse Jackson, Lil Wayne, NPR, NSA, obama, political, Politics, Supreme Court, Trade, war

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Jesse Jackson challenges Barack Obama to a cut-your-nuts-off duel


Wednesday, July 9, 2008 - 10:37 pm (EST)
By Tommy Esquire

Unless you’ve escaped media for two whole hours, you know by now that Jesse Jackson was caught on tape saying he wants to cut Barack Obama’s nuts off for having the audacity to criticize deadbeat dads and say that young brothers should give up on the Lil Wayne dream and stay in school.  Of course, Jesse immediately apologized and called his support for Barack “wide, deep and unequivocal,” although he might have been talking about the vagina he was planning on carving out.

From the NY Post:

Jackson said that in doing so Obama was hurting his relationship with black voters, “that the senator was cutting off his you-know-whats with the black people and black churches.”

Now I’m a white guy, but I really could not disagree more here.  Black folks know what the problems are in their communities, they’re not happy with no-show baby daddies, and they want someone to stand up to them.  Almost half of American black children live without a father, which is more than double any other ethic group in this county.

This is a huge opportunity for Barack Obama, not just with blacks but with those blue collar white Democrats and independents who are fed up with Republicans but are pretty wary after hearing Barack’s black pastor say GOD DAMN AMERICA.  Standing up to Jesse Freakin’ Jackson would be like Sister Souljah times a thousand.  At the same time, he won’t be losing many – if any – blacks, who are on Obama’s side to begin with, and from my experience have been cool to Jesse for years.

This all assumes that Barack has the nuts to stand up for something. If he follows the same play-it-safe, no controversy game plan he’s been so widely derided for the last few weeks, he will pass up a once-in-a-lifetime political opportunity.  The fish jumped right in the boat, and all he has to do is whack it with the oar.

TAGS: Barack Obama, Jesse Jackson, Lil Wayne

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Festive Theme: Jigga, Verve, Weezy, Dylan, Kanye


Monday, June 30, 2008 - 12:42 pm (EST)
By Ray LeMoine


At Glasto last night: ’chard Ashcroft posing like only a Brit-pop frontman can, Godlike. The Sunday line-up for V Fest in B-more features Lil Wayne, Kanye West, and Bob Dylan.

The video Anthony posted of our New York boy Jigga dissing at Oasis at Glasto by performing “Wonderwall” with a guitar reminded me that the UK still runs the best fests, despite the glut of festivals here in recent years (Coachello, Boner-roo, and Lolla just don’t cut it). Better yet, Jigga at Glasto was front page news across the UK, something no festival could do here. The most emailed stories at every Brit paper (Independent, Guardian, Times etc) were Jigga-praise tales. The Guardian review closed with: “What does it all mean, maan?: Hip hop is RIGHT for Glastonbury. Times have changed Mr Gallagher.”

And the most emailed in all of the UK (pop 60 million): “A Glasto Legend is Born,” claims the Independent:

His name on the bill sparked the type of controversy that rarely surrounds Glastonbury Festival. A hip-hop act isn’t what the traditional field-dwellers have come to expect, and even Noel Gallagher, a god in these parts, decried his inclusion.

But last night Jay-Z took the Oasis star’s criticism and turned it into one of the great Glastonbury moments. Taking to the stage flanked by guitarists and in front of a Union Jack backdrop, the rapper led the sizeable crowd in a sing- along of “Wonderwall”.

It was a moment that will surely go down in festival folklore. But the rest of his set was also impressive, although at times it felt more like a Barack Obama rally than a festival gig.

The Guardian ran a funny, great Verve review, actually addressing (Oasis vs Verve) issues John raised last week:

Where and when: Pyramid stage, Sunday, 10.25pm

Dress code: Manc cool. Richard Ashworth looks slinky in a leather jacket and sunglasses.

In a nutshell: “Shout out to Jay-Z,” says Verve frontman Richard Ashcroft, in bullish good form, “but tonight it’s rock’n'roll.” It’s a promise that the Manchester braggards more than uphold. Moving from the psychedelic swirl of Rolling People to the cathartic, classic pop of Sonnet and Lucky Man, Ashcroft and co delight old fans and surprise some who thought they weren’t up to the challenge of their Pyramid stage headline slot. “We’d like to thank Emily Eavis,” says Ashcroft. “I hope Dad realised why she booked us now. I think he was worried we wouldn’t be as good as Keane.” After this performance, which ends with the fantastic hedonism of Love is Noise, even bessie mates Oasis should be looking over their shoulder.

Who’s watching: Lads looking for an anthemic sing-along and the chance to cuddle their mates without embarrassment.

High point: A dead heat between the acoustic majesty of The Drugs Don’t Work and the celebratory swagger of Bittersweet Symphony.

Low point: Too many protracted wig-outs turn the muscular Verve flabby

Mark out of 10: 8

What does it all mean, maan?: Carlsberg still tastes ok with man-tears in it

How do you beat 80,000 people standing in a field sorted out for E’s and wizz?

There is one American festival this summer that may live up to the hype. On Day 2 of the V Fest in Baltimore—August 10th—Kanye West and Lil Wayne perform alongside Bob Dylan (and BRMC). Weezy and West are the two biggest solo artists in America right now. Dylan is the biggest solo artist in America ever. If late-60s America was all about not having to be a weatherman to know which way the wind blows, then the late 00s are all about George Bush not caring about black people. About a Namish quagmire in Iraq. About a Hurricane named Katrina. About a time when people had the audacity to hope in the wake of said hurricane and tragic war that change was possible. About a moment from which Barack Obama rose.

Millions of hippies hate Kanye for performing at 430am (after originally being scheduled of 8pm) at Boner-roo, but his set lead every single review of the festival (NYT, WaPost, AP, Rolling Stone, SPIN). As in, the first sentence was Kanye. So he effectively stole the show—and the headlines. Having seen Kanye perform last May, I can attest that he transcends rap.

For Wayne, the Baltimore show is his biggest of the summer. You know, the same summer where his record sold a million copies in one week, the same week he had the number one single, ringtone, and download. The summer he won the BET viewers choice award. Look for a Dylan at Newport type performance.

I don’t care as much about Dylan, but just to see him on the same stage is going to be fun.

TAGS: Bob Dylan, Jay, Kanye West, Lil Wayne

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30% Bigger Than Coldplay


Wednesday, June 25, 2008 - 10:59 am (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

Lil Wayne wins Black Entertainment Television’s Viewers Choice Award—again.

This guy, who sings about blowjobs, sold approx 300k more records in his first week than Coldplay will this week.

AP Headline: T-Pain, Lil Wayne, Barack Obama rule the BET Awards

 

Last night, live at the BET Awards, the biggest artist in America…(PS: check out Weezy’s hand-in-pocket, Papelbon-ish jig as “Lollipop” fades in):

http://www.bet.com/Specials/BETAwards08/betawards-videos/beta_video_performances.htm?episodeid=1902&videoindex=12&playerid=betawards08

 

 

TAGS: Barack Obama, Lil Wayne, obama, Video, war, Weezy

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Idiots Reviewing Rap Records


Monday, June 23, 2008 - 9:06 am (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

Why are music critics so sucky? Especially rap critics? Remember this is rap music. It’s designed for dancing and fucking. If you’re listening solely for words become a poetry critic. It often seems like critics secretly wish music was more than just music. Someone sent me this Lil Wayne ‘Carter 3″ review by Jess Harvell in Salon:

As hip-hop sales sink along with the rest of the record industry, rappers of deeply questionable gifts, like Miami hacks Flo Rida and Rick Ross, continue to dominate the charts and the magazine covers.

Rick Ross has a unique voice and great producers. I’m not looking for fine prose at 3am at le club. Actually I want to hear “Boss” or “Hustlin’”…

And please don’t diss the Birdman.

Wayne’s a fatherless child who grew into a respected M.C. after being mentored by Cash Money’s Bryan “Baby” Williams (without a doubt one of the worst rappers in the genre’s history).

Really? Because “Poppin Bottles” certainly works as a great song for fucking, dancing, driving, and working. In fact, try this for a date: order Chinese take-out, put on Wayne and Baby’s “Like Father Like Son” LP, open a bottle of something, then have sex. Tell me you hate Baby’s voice after that. (Not that I’ve tried it.)

Hater:

Yet for all his finessing, the available-in-stores “Tha Carter III” is as frustratingly patchy as any overlong, slapdash mainstream hip-hop album from one of Wayne’s far less talented peers. Stretches of the most inventive rapping you’re likely to hear all year are nearly drowned out by generic R&B choruses and soggy pop-chart copouts. At other times Wayne sounds like he’s rapping on autopilot over the best batch of beats he has assembled since the late ’90s. “Tha Carter III” doesn’t fit together or build momentum, and it will disappoint anyone looking for another auteur of album-length hip-hop.

Tha Carter 3 is actually rap’s “Yankee Foxtrot.” Wayne’s “lyrics” were never Phillip Larkin, the guy just has a weird voice and says weird things. C3 succeeds because it goes both minimalist (”Let the Beat Build,” “A Milli) and maximalist (”Lollipop,” the T-Pain song), while still being unique (Banner’s beat was originally for…Shrek 3) and gangster (”Mr Carter,” the Fab/Julez song). It also ends with an 8 minute essay on drug policy. And has a slow jam about exile and government in New Orleans.

(And why no mention of “Like Father Like Son” in your 3000 word masterpiece? It only won both the BET and Vibe Award for peoples’ choice.)

TAGS: A Milli, idiot, Lil Wayne, Music, Review, Tha Carter 3, war

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Popstar Deathmatch: Weezy Goes Platinum vs Kanye Performs to “Kanye sucks” chant at 4:30am at Boner-roo


Tuesday, June 17, 2008 - 9:29 am (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

Bonnaroo boners. Weezy making out with his Daddy.

America’s two biggest pop-rap stars made headlines this week

Who is cooler? Kanye for pushing his Saturday 8:15pm slot back to 4:30am at a jam band festival and getting booed or Lil Wayne for releasing 75 free promo tracks before releasing Tha Carter 3 and still going platinum its first week?

Boner-roo, America’s biggest yearly pop/jam band fest:

Kanye West was booed by angry fans when he played US festival Bonnaroo this weekend- after arriving on stage over 2 hours late! The hip hop star took to the stage at 4.25am and ironically opened with track Good Morning. Fans chanted ’Kanye, Sucks!’ and threw objects onto the stage during the delay while many reportedly left and went to sleep.

I don’t care if you love Jack Johnson and came to the ‘Roo in a VW bus powered by fry grease and wearing crocs, coming out to “Good Morning” (maybe West’s best song) in such Axl Rose fashion is funny and worth staying up for. PS: Pearl Jam sucks.

Meanwhile, Lil Wayne goes for top-opening week of 2008with an album that ends with an 8 minute anti-Al Sharpton and critical drup policy rant:

Experts Project Tha Carter III Went Platinum Yesterday
June 16th, 2008 | It has been just a few short days since Lil Wayne’s Tha Carter 3 was released to retailers around the globe, and already the Louisiana born and raised rapper is close to rounding off a million copies sold. According to the Nielsen SoundScan’s Building Charts, Tha Carter 3, which was released last Tuesday (June 10th) was set to reach it’s million-copies-sold peak by last evening,which is when Soundscan closes its trackings. On it’s first day alone, Tha Carter 3’s sales stood at 423,00 copies sold [click to read], and as of June 13th, the album has sold roughly 630,000 copies.

Tha Carter 3 is toe-to-toe with Kanye West’s Graduation [click to read], which sold nearly 600,000 copies it’s first day of release. Lil Wayne, who is still currently signed to Cash Money/Universal Motown Records, has a lot more to boast about, as his smash single, “Lolipop” still sits at number one on the singles charts.

Tie (slight edge to West on the why play at 8pm when the 430am slot’s avail?/pissing off hippies factor)…Both are playing V Fest in Baltimore this August, at a race track, where I hope you can bet horses and watch the show.

TAGS: A Milli, free, Kanye West, Lil Wayne, Race, Tha Carter 3, Weezy

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Wayne’s Week


Friday, June 13, 2008 - 12:08 pm (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

…nee, it’s Wayne’s world!

Weezy shocks world! En route to a million sold in first week, Tha Carter 3 shatters industry estimates, proves there’s no such thing as over-exposure. Where’s the Rolling Stone cover? Meet 08’s biggest artist…

Wayne jams with Baby on ‘Leather So Soft” at Beacon Theater summer 07. Rolling Stone dropped the ball and had The Eagles on the cover this week, so here’s a sweet XXL cover…  

A year ago, if someone told me that in 365 days a black guy would have the Democratic nomination, the Celtics would be one win from a championship, and Lil Wayne would sell a million records in the first week and have the number 1 song in the country—about getting blow jobs nonetheless—I’d have laughed. But it’s all true. America’s not so bad. Ha…

I’ve been following New Orelans’ Cash Money Millionaires for a decade (Baller Blockin’ is my favorite movie after Citizen Kane). Ever since Juvenile’s “Ha” brought “bounce” music mainstream, Cash Money’s been my shiite, and this is by far the highest they’ve gone. Lil Wayne is a bonafide pop megastar! Let’s chart the rise and rise of Lil Wanye…

Flashback: June 22nd, 2007, Lil Wayne’s first-ever New York performance. Sold out. The Beacon Theater, a tri-deck Art Deco jewel, is packed with 3500 fans. It’s 10pm, and Wayne’s two hours late. No one thinks he’s going to show—even DJ Kahled, who came up from Miami with Wayne.

Twenty more minutes pass. The lights go down. Adolescent female screams.  Wayne bounds onstage in a blinged out RUN DMC shirt, dreadlocks flopping. “Yalls motherf*cking po-lice almost didn’t let me in the building,” Wayne’s first words, sounding stressed. “I love ya’ll. But fuck ya’ll police.”

(more…)

TAGS: A Milli, Celtics, Drugs, free, kids, Lil Wayne, Movie, Music, New York, NPR, nypd, political, Review, Shiite, Summer Jam, Tha Carter 3, Video, war, Weezy, White People, youtube

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Weezy - Tha Carter 3 : A Milli The First Week?


Thursday, June 12, 2008 - 12:05 am (EST)
By Anthony Pappalardo

Unless you’re a complete honk who still listens to some fucked up CDR with Goo Goo Dolls, Gin Blossoms, and that annoying song from Friends some guy named Smitty burned for you in college you know all about Tha Carter 3.

Basically the short version is Lil Wayne has been all skrewed up sippin’ sizzurp for about three years and making a mixtape every three days. This was supposed to culminate in Tha Carter 3 , his masterpiece. The record kept getting delayed because for real he’s got that stryo cup all day slowing his fucking roll, it leaked, rap dude blogs buzzed and bitched and the result…. according to Billboard, Weezy sold over 423,000 thousand copies on June 10th of a record that everyone already downloaded weeks before. It could do a million the first week and most importantly it could shred Kanye which would make him shut his tacky ass up for a minute. Ok maybe not but at least I can not hear how revolutionary Kanye is for rapping over music that E’d out white people loved in the late 1990s (puke).

The Verdict? Rap blog dudes love mentioning how the mixtape version of a new LP is better than the LP. That’s a given, it’s all they have, they downloaded it months ago, jerked off to it, smoked weed to it and thought about how “ill it was son”, emailed their boys the best verse and secretly added their own weak lyrics in Garageband on their favorite track. These people think Weezy’s latest is just “ok” and that the over-produced beats boast tired and uninspired lyrics. Jesus Christs I hate them. I hate them because they don’t like having a fucking good time. Listen, the average car stereo, party stereo, laptop DJed Party, dorm, BBQ or other random place you’re going to be drunk this summer doesn’t have that fucking mixtape you downloaded off Rapgodfathers.com, thank you. They do have the regular ass commercial version of Tha Carter 3 and you’re going to be fucking drunk somewhere, slurring your words, thinking you’re in a video, picking up a fat chick getting psyched to Lollipop and that’s the end of the fucking story.

You aren’t going to be playing Wii stoned out of your mind on some expensive delivery weed getting your dick sucked by some half asian chick to a downloaded blog leak where dude “is a beast on this track”

Thank you , we’re done. This is a Rap CD and dude raps, sometimes the songs really don’t have a structure, he uses too much Vocoder and the choruses are so-so unless someone is paid to sing them but Track 14 is called You Ain’t Got Nuthin’ On Me, Juelz and Fab beat the track up, they are like meat tenderizer getting shit soft for Weezy to go in on the last verse and kill it, actually his verse is kind of the worst but it doesn’t matter I like the idea of them softening shit up for the Greatest Rapper Alive® When you give Santana and Fab a good beat they shine, specifically Santana who usually gets the bootleg semi-past their prime Dipset Protool Fake-String Orchestra Mixtape DJ beats. So yeah on the best beat on the album he says “You surf board dudes get wiped out, Totally!” Think about that.

Buy this record and support the economy. In my brain if you buy this it supports the opposite of Coldplay so that’s a good thing.

Oh yeah, Mr.Carter boasts Jay-Z and once again, Jigga proves that he should stay retired, not because he can’t rap, because he’s at the sketchy knee comeback Washington Wizard Jordan stage of his career.

Translation, he’s a better contributor / role player than living guitar solo. When Mike made his 7,000th comeback he flashed brilliance but couldn’t do it for a full game (see American Gangster or the Budweiser Commercial record) but when he was playing a role (Errry Day he’s Hustlin’) he was legit and made you remember the dunk from the free throw line. Mr.Carter is the same shit, Jay is brilliant and his freestyle over a Milli that’s floating around is equally amazing. Jigga, you’re on the verge of becoming a real life Joe Camel Cartoon, hang that shit up and just guest on tracks and tour. No bullshit concept records and shit please…please.

TAGS: Lil Wayne, Tha Carter 3, Weezy

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Record Review: THE HITMEN SOUTH HITZ 4 DA LO


Tuesday, May 13, 2008 - 11:02 am (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

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Chemically enhanced Southern rap

I love music! I just purchased the latest Hitmen CD for $5 on the corner, and let me tell you, it rocks! All 25 tracks. But thanks to the latest Sunday Times Book Review, I’m having trouble critically determining my relationship to music:

The critic is the only artist who depends entirely upon another art form, which means that part of his job is to determine the nature of that relationship. Should he be an advocate? A policeman? A curator? A hanging judge? A mostly loyal but occasionally snippy personal assistant? The decision is an unconscious one, perhaps, but once it’s made, the critic’s writing will be colored by his chosen role in the same way that our voices carry the accents of our birthplaces. 

Oh, pity the critic! I’ll try. The HITMEN SOUTH HITZ 4 DA LO is a contemporary survey of southern rap. What a big sound: southern rap is funky, over-produced, orchestrally electro and R and B influenced, and often less lyrical than New York rap, rather it’s more “unique voice” driven. Judging from DA LO’s tracklist, Miami is currently the capital of this sound, with Atlanta, Memphis, and Houston also contributing. Miami’s two biggest artists, Rick Ross and Lil Wayne, are on 9 of the DA LO’s 25 songs. (Miami’s rise is directly linked to the many great producers—Timbaland, Scott Storch, Cool and Dre—who live there.)
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Rick Ross at a Fader Magazine party in NY where, before performing, he demanded multiple Grey Goose bottles and to watch the Heat game. Lil Wayne and Trina.
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Miami: drug boats in harbor and super-producer Scott Storch chilling at Mokai. (more…)

TAGS: Atlanta, BOOKS, Flo-Rida, Juelz Santana, Lil Wayne, Music, New York, Review, Summer Jam

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Drudge Sets Tone; Turks Try Pull Out Method


Friday, February 29, 2008 - 6:51 pm (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

Today’s Reads
1. Boom, Boom, Hater
“MSM” be ashamed! This week Matt Drudge has twice broken major headlines. First, Somali Obama, a picture he said was sent by a Clinton staffer of Barrack in full traditional Islamic battle dress. Second: Prince Harry secretly fighting in Afghanistan, “killing 30 Taleban and chortling with chums, good lad!” Today Drudge gets hater on Hillary.

“Hillary, you Devil”
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Ballsy and direct, objective: evil? Texas polls have her down:

A new round of Zogby polls puts Barack Obama ahead in the Texas primary 48%-42% over Hillary Clinton. Some analysis from John Zogby: “In Texas, Obama has big leads among independents, men, voters under 65, African Americans, and voters who have decided within the last month. Clinton leads with Catholics and voters over 65.”

Hillary has a narrow lead in Ohio, at 44% to Obama’s 42%. Zogby: “Clinton leads among Democrats, women, voters over 50, and everywhere outside the three big cities. She also leads among Catholics, voters in union households, and moderates. Obama leads among voters under 50, especially those under 30, and among liberals.”

If she loses Texas, she should step aside.

2. Worst New Song: Gym Class Heroes/Lil Wayne
Don’t listen to it. No link, sorry. It’s beyond offensive—keyboards and emo-metal.

3. Linz Again
The Lohan beat is a fine trade this week again. She hits Paper’s cover:
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(Photo: Jeremy Scott, “I’m NOT a druggy slut!”)
And Forbes says ad revenue fo NY.MAG’s Lohan nude scoop could’ve netted $500,000. It’s an interesting story, but ends asking the wrong question:

“Hmm. Makes one wonder: What’s Britney up to these days?”

A better question is, How much does a positive article in Forbes increase brand value, what’s that worth? And by not taking money, Lohan maintained to a journalistic code of not paying for scoops. That’s why New York won 5 Ellies in 2005; professionalism.

New York’s Lohan shoot was a huge coup. No doubt. 40 million views in two days!

Lohnan’s being offered Playboy paydays. Instead she’s doing fashion spread features for New York regional magazines. The NY Post put her on the cover this week. (Page Six the Magazine’s dream is a feature Lohan cover.) She does Paper, circulation 100,000.

Britney’s route has been much uglier; mental episodes, phantom babies, Sam Lufti.

4. Turkey Invades Self
Tanks are crossing Turkish borders. Helicopters and troops marching in. Gates plays his hand well as Turks bluff. Visiting Ankara, Gates said:

“I think they got our message,” Gates told reporters on Thursday after talks in Ankara with Prime Minister Tayyip Erdogan and other leaders, including President Abdullah Gul, Minister of Defense Vecdi Gonul and Turkey’s top military general Yasar Buyukanit.

Score! Bush agrees. Turkish victory or retreat? Let’s see if “terror” decreases in Turkey.

TAGS: Babies, Barack Obama, dog, Hillary, Hillary Clinton, Islam, Lil Wayne, new song, New York, obama, Ohio, polls, Slam, Texas, Trade

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He ugly, but he good–Celts to get Cassell; Winter’s over tomorrow.


Thursday, February 28, 2008 - 10:36 pm (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

Great day for Boston sports: Faulk gets busted with weed at Lil Wayne show, the Celts look to land Sam Sassell, and Red Sox visited White House yest and winter ends tomorrow as Spring Training begins.
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The Celts are about to lock down ye olde guard Sam Cassell
. Vegas odds of Celts winning championship? 3/1

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The Champs with P Bush. Spring Training “Opening Day” tomorrow vs Twins. 1:05pm. Winter? Ova. Vegas odds on Sox WS repeat? 9/2

TAGS: Basketball, Boston, Celtics, Lil Wayne, Red Sox, Sports

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Pats’ RB Kevin Faulk Busted w/ Blunts at Weezy Gig


Thursday, February 28, 2008 - 8:59 pm (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

To think, I actually lost some respect for the Pats when they lost the Superbowl on a lucky pass/catch. But they’re earning it back, one blunt at a time. Nice one Faulk. The world now knows you’re one cool motherfucker. (Thanks to Caplick for the tip on this one.)
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AP reports:

Faulk, a Louisiana native and former LSU star, was on his way to a suite in the Lafayette Cajundome to watch a performance by rapper Lil Wayne, when a routine search by a sheriff’s deputy turned up four marijuana cigarettes, Babin said.

TAGS: Lil Wayne, Weezy

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“Historic”


Tuesday, February 26, 2008 - 3:32 pm (EST)
By Ray LeMoine

Weezy Makes History in Newark?
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Mug shot, AZ.
According to the NYT’s music brotha, Kelefa Sanneh, Lil Wayne’s weirdness kept 2800 people waiting 3 hours late but he was still amazing:

Forget a good or even great show; what they got, instead, was a peculiar, riveting hourlong performance that felt positively historic…

“I would love for you to put me in your prayers tonight; I got court in the morning,” Wayne said. He was due in New York, for an appearance stemming from his arrest on weapons possession charges in July, after his last New York area concert, at the Beacon Theater. (The Monday morning court date might explain why he booked himself to play Newark on Sunday night.)

I attended the Beacon show last summer (with Dave “Teardrop” Murphy). Wayne was 3 hours late that night, too. Outside the venue, cops, cops, cops, barricades, checkpoints, like a Baghdad Forward Operating Base. Jim Jones was denied entry—because he’s a Blood—even though he was scheduled to perform.

We bought weed before the show in Central Park (from the ever reliable Sheep Meadow beer hustler with the weed-leaf hand tattoo and bandana, you know the guy). Instead of smoking inside the Beacon and having to deal with 8 checkpoints, we ran over to Riverside Drive.

Later that night, after the show, Ja Rule was busted smoking weed on Riverside, and Wayne down the street. Cops sure hate rap in New York. They’ll even chase after rappers’ scents.

These days I’m a bit sick of Weezy F. Too much hype, too many guest spots, etc. But he was great at the Beacon—a raging, fucked-up machine, half-stoned and half-jacked, like on a coke-weed ball. He wore a Run DMC shirt, had Kayne come out for a song, Baby and Khaled on stage, Juelz and Mac Maine as hype-men, and jammed on a guitar for “Leather So Soft.” Best show of 07 for me, for sure.

Wayne’s next album, Da Carter III, drops in April. It could be his “Graduation,” maybe even better, who knows? Wayne shares management with Kayne, and I assume the marketing will be similar, ie. huge.

That is, if he’s not in jail. Aside from weapons and pot charges in NY, Wayne was arrested a month ago in AZ with a gun, 3.7 ounces of weed, an ounce of cocaine (wow), 41 grams of Ecstasy, and $22,000 dollars in cash. He seems to like a good time, but those are heavy charges, so he needs a “Shyne,” a fall guy. Maybe Diddy should be his lawyer.

Related
A few weeks ago the Village Voice ran a feature on Fabolous, a Brooklyn rapper tied to a Bed-Stuy gang called Street Family, who’ve been involved in various high-profile Manhattan club shootings. It’s nice to see the Voice covering rap in depth. Rap’s some of New York’s best music and often gets overlooked. Never mind that Fab’s as underrated as they come…

2. Prepare for the Gawker Wars
The turnover continues at Manhattan’s premium media gossip website. They’ve lost their ENTIRE staff in the last few months, but is it about to turn nasty? (from Radar blog, edited by ex-Gawker Alex Balker):

Nick Denton (Gawker media group founder and current Gawker editor) fired Shnayerson via email last night. She emailed him back with what she called “an updated version of the resignation letter” she had written the previous Friday but never sent. Shnayerson says she has no immediate plans, but knew her time was drawing to an end when she “started thinking about leaving without a safety net.

“The constant churn of employees at New York media website Gawker has claimed another victim: Maggie Shnayerson, hired in September of 2007 to fill the media reporter role vacated by Doree Shafrir, has been let go, making her approximately the 1,450th employee to have joined or left that site since November. Shnayerson has been released due to poor numbers: An e-mail from Gawker Media overlord Nick Denton put it this way: “I’m afraid your stories are not performing well enough on Gawker, and I don’t see how you’re going to turn that around. Last month, you got about 400,000 pageviews; this month you’re at 160,000; even taking into account your break, that’s still far from satisfactory. You should be doing some 670,000 views a month to justify your advance. You’re a good writer, and your stories are fine; you just seem to wrestle with them for longer than we can afford. I don’t think you’re suited to the pace of Gawker.” Shnayerson is, in fact, a fine writer, and would be a welcome addition to any news organization’s staff. Denton was unavailable for comment.

According to ousted Gawker editor, Maggie Shnayerson, the site has “changed dramatically” since her arrival in September 2007. “You have [Nick Denton acting as] publisher and an editor, and I think that’s a conflict of interest,” she told us by phone Monday afternoon, adding that “he’s trying to make Gawker much more mainstream, but I’m not sure if [Gawker] works as a HuffPo.Shnayerson, formerly PR director at the Village Voice, says she understands Gawker’s need to make money (”I’m not going to be one of those people who complains about publisher’s trying to make money.”) and has “a lot of respect for Denton,” but worries that his vision for the site is ruining its place in the media landscape. “He’s pushing Gawker to its broadest conclusion — and this reduces its caché. It’s not smart business. It’s not smart editorially, and it’s very hard on employees.” She also noted that she’s heard anecdotally that “people in power say they don’t read it as much. That’s really sad. Gawker shouldn’t be a depository for the latest viral video.”McInenr MIAMI http://www.portfolio.com/culture-lifestyle/culture-inc/arts/2008/02/19/Art-Basel-Comes-to-Miami

TAGS: beer, Brooklyn, Cocaine, drama, Jim Jones, Lil Wayne, Manhattan, Music, New York,